


The Strangest World

by girlunderthefloor



Category: The Host - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-01-10 23:59:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 36,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18418598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlunderthefloor/pseuds/girlunderthefloor
Summary: Life after the book The Host describing the journey of the humans as they take back the world for themselves.Wanda's POV.





	1. Realization

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story for the first time 5 years ago.   
> Moreso as a writing exercise, I'm bringing this over from FF and changing all the minor things I've wanted to change ever since I first started writing it. 
> 
> Obviously I do not own anything from The Host.

I'm bathing when I suddenly realize it. It's been two months. I need to talk to Melanie. I know this hasn't happened to anyone for the last few years. I'm sure that Melanie will know what to do.  
I dry myself off and I leave for the big plaza, the place where she is most likely to be. Last time I saw her, she and Jared were sitting in a corner, laughing about something. I didn't want to join them, even though when Melanie saw me, she waved me over. It seemed to intimate to impose on. But then again, it always feels intimate when you're around them, everybody agrees on that. They're just so close.  
When I reach the plaza and don't see Melanie there, I try to remember what her task for today is. I will have to go and check the schedule in the kitchen. I see Jamie on the other end of the room, I hope he doesn't notice me, I really want to speak to Melanie.

"Hey, Wanda, wait up!"  
Of course he spots me, he is way too observant to not have seen me.  
"Good morning Jamie," I greet him, "How are you?"  
"I'm great!" he beams, "Where are you going? It looks like you're looking for someone."   
"I am, I'm looking for Mel, do you know where she is?"   
"She went out with Jared this morning, what do you need her for?"   
Ever curious, he is. I evade the question without even the least bit of grace.   
"Uhm . . . It's nothing Jamie, I'll just wait until she gets back."   
"You could come with us, we're going to the game room. Sunny wants to see Kyle play."   
"No Jamie, thank you, I'll go to the kitchen and help out there."   
"Are you okay Wanda? You seem a bit distracted."  
I had not once been able to fool him before and he wasn't about to let me go easily now either. I still tried to get him to leave.   
"I'm fine Jamie. Go play, tell Ian to win for me."   
If Kyle is playing, I'm sure Ian is joining.

I feel hands on my shoulder and for a brief moment I tense up. This body still doesn't know those hands yet, even though I do.   
I know it's Ian.   
And right after that involuntary tensing, I relax and lean into him. It's amazing what love can do, I feel so natural with him. It's just this body that still hasn't fully adjusted.   
It's been six months since the night Jamie brought us back together, but those six months have not yet fully succeeded in making my new body accustomed to Ian. We've cuddled, we're holding hands whenever we're near each other and we share the same bed. I know every inch of Ian's body and he knows everything about mine. But still this body - my body - seems unwilling to accept his touch without question. I wish this body would stop fidgeting.

"You're going to let Jamie wish me luck? Just come watch yourself," Ian suggests.  
"I was going to bake some more bread, maybe see if I can help out with dinner preparations."  
Ian sighs. "Really Wanda, we all get days off, you know that. Take a day off too."  
The thought doesn't appeal to me at all, I like to be productive. And at this precise moment, I actually don't want to spend time with these two guys. They are too perceptive, they will notice that something's off with me.  
"I really don't mind. Besides, this is not my scheduled day off. And I wouldn't know what to do with my time if I didn't help out."  
"Who cares?" Ian scoffs, "We all take an extra day now and then. Melanie and Jared took one today, you're just as entitled to it. Come watch us and talk to Sunny, I want to see you have fun."  
"Melanie and Jared being out is all the more reason for me not to skip today."  
Ian's face fals slightly as he realizes he has used the wrong argument to get me to go with them.  
"Really, I enjoy cooking, I'll be fine in the kitchen. You boys go."  
"Alright, I'll see you at dinner."

He doesn't press me, he never would. He knows that if he does press, I'd say yes for him and he doesn't want that. He wants me to make choices because I want to make them, not because I'm trying to make other people happy.  
I almost change my mind, but I see Doc walking at the other end of the plaza. I didn't think of him yet, but of course, he can help me with this as well. It might even be an even better option than talking to Melanie.  
I balance up on my toes, Ian leans in for a kiss and then I wish him luck, waving Jamie off, I follow Doc into the tunnel he disappeared in.


	2. Thoughts

I enter the kitchen and see Doc sitting at a table with Sharon next to him. Walking up to him isn't a good idea with her there, she still doesn't like me. So I head for the stoves, opening one of the cabinets there to look at the food schedule. I want to know what's for dinner, so I can get an early start on preparations. If I prepare everything right now, it won't take that much time tonight. Carrots and potatoes. Good, that means I can clean the carrots and peel the potatoes, it'll only have to be cooked tonight. It's almost a mindless job, while my hands are busy, I can think about other things. . .

_"Jared is my past, another life. You're my present."_   
_"And your future, if you want me to."_   
_The way Ian kisses me, he makes me blush. This body blushes, I can't get used to it yet. I'm used to a body that can lie, where my cheeks don't reveal the way I feel. My poker face is gone._

Living with him in the same room, it's so intimate. When I came to this world, I knew beforehand what the human customs were, how the partnering and mating goes. I had considered as a Soul to become a Mother, but I didn't feel ready for it yet. I didn't want to leave the universe myself. So when I came to know of this world I was fascinated by their way of reproducing. Instead of becoming a Soul-Mother, I decided I would become a human mother. Productive in more than one way. It would give new Souls new bodies and keep the human population at a good level. We needed human babies. Being able to birth a baby and not be gone myself, the idea was very appealing. But, of course, Melanie was in the body with me. And I came to the caves.

Could it be happening to me right now? I haven't bled for two full months. I am supposed to have had my period by now. I know all about the physical part of it, but only in theory. I might be wrong. And I don't know how Ian will react, he's always so careful. The one conversation we had about it made it very clear how he thinks about children.

_"I won't bring children into this world, Wanda. It's bad enough that we have to deal with the possibility of being taken ourselves. What if our child would be captured? At a young age? And a Soul went in and after years we'd find it and take the Soul out and our child would be gone? The younger a human is, the more likely it is they will fade away when a Soul goes in. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. No, we can't have children in this world."_

Talking to Doc or Melanie first seems like a wise decision, I have no idea how Ian will react, how mad he will be.

"Wanda?!"  
"What?" I drop the knife I was holding, "I'm sorry Doc, what were you saying?"  
He's standing at the other side of the counter, looking curious.  
"You seemed far away there, is everything okay?"  
"Yes, thank you, I'm fine. I would like to talk to you, but it's getting busy in here."  
I look around the suddenly loud room, the kitchen is filling up. People are making sandwiches and taking fruit, Sharon is handing out milk.  
"Have lunch first," Doc suggests, "I'll be in the hospital the entire afternoon, come find me."

Ian, Jamie and Kyle walk in, Candy and Sunny are right behind them, they're all laughing and chatting. I want to join them, but I was so lost in my thoughts that I'm not even halfway through with the potatoes. I've done this so many times that I don't need my eyes for the task anymore, so I keep looking at the boys. It's nice to see Ian smile, his smile always makes me want to smile. I'm too far off to hear what they are talking about, but I'm not curious at all. I know that if there's something important to pass on, Ian will tell me tonight.  
And then Ian looks up and sees me, causing me to blush. Causing my body to blush. Why can't I get the automatic reflexes of this body to stop? After all the time I spent in Melanie's body, I had grown accustomed to being strong, fast. Not too tough, but also not girly. This body makes me feel weak at times. Firstly because I am physically weak and no-one will let me do something about it, whenever I try to lift something, someone runs to my aid. But also because this body is so girly. It keeps giving me away, every time, I can't seem to get it under control.

"Come sit with us, I already grabbed you some sandwiches."  
Ian takes the knife out of my hand and puts it down, firmly holding onto my hand. I know the second I will try to break his grip, he will let go, but it feels good, it's where my hand belongs.  
"How did the match go? Did you win?"  
"Of course we won, Kyle and I are unbeatable."  
I smile to myself, Kyle and Ian really are unbeatable, I haven't seen anyone win against the two of them. I sit down next to Sunny, who's holding hands with Kyle. It seems the two of them are almost glued together, you rarely see either of them alone. Sunny says that she has tried and tried to find Jodi, but that Jodi isn't there anymore. Kyle is still upset about it, Jodi was the love of his life. Ian is still upset as well, Jodi was like a sister to him. But Kyle has grown fond of Sunny and with Jodi really gone, this is the best possible outcome.

As always, Jamie is the one talking the most.  
"I wonder when Jared and Mel will be back. They didn't tell anyone what they were going out for. What do you think they're doing out there, Wanda?"  
Ian whispers in my ear: "It's all he can talk about. We wanted to drop the subject, but he won't stop. He asked all of us what we thought, but of course we don't have the faintest clue."  
"I don't know what they are doing. Maybe they just wanted time to themselves?" I suggest.  
"That's what Ian said too. But if they wanted time for themselves, they could have gone to one of the remote caves. I think they're up to something."  
"If they didn't tell, they must not want anyone to know. Don't smother them when they come back, Jamie, leave them be."  
"Aren't you in the least curious?" he inquired, eyes wide.  
Was I? No, not really. I mean, I wouldn't mind knowing, but I don't mind not knowing either. My guess is that they just want to feel free out there, together.

Jeb comes walking in, clearly looking for someone. Jamie cringes a bit and then Jeb sees him. He stalks towards us, heading straight for Jamie. And he looks mad. I can't help it. It's instinct. I inherited it from the time I was in Melanie's body. I jump up and place myself in front of Jamie. By the time Ian realizes what I'm doing, Jeb's already standing opposite me, looking confused.  
"What are you doing Wanda?"  
"You seem mad, Jeb, are you mad?"  
His face softens a bit, his eyes understanding me.  
"Well, yes," he confirms, "I need to talk to Jamie."  
"He's sitting right there, you can talk."  
I bite my lip, I hate when my instinct takes over like this. I don't want to be rude to Jeb. And after all the time I spent here, I know he would never hurt Jamie. Of course he won't, he loves him too much. But still, I hadn't been able to help my reaction.

Ian tugs at my hand. "Wanda, it's okay, Jeb just wants to talk to him. Let's go and give them some time to talk."  
Kyle eagerly agrees. "Yes, let's let them talk, come on Sunny."  
"You boys can forget about that, you're not going anywhere. But please Wanda, do take Sunny with you."  
Ian and Kyle sigh and slouch back into their chairs, showing how much they are alike.

I have fully registered that there's no danger, my involuntarily actions seem so foolish now. Back at the counter, I hand Sunny some carrots and go back to peeling the potatoes myself. We are now on the other side of the room, but since Jeb is yelling, we can hear every word.  
"Why did you think it was okay to go and play? There is work to be done! You irresponsible people! Jared and Mel took off and with the three of you not working either, the field is never going to be finished today. We need food, people! Get your butts of those chairs and get to work!"  
Sunny is trembling beside me. I can empathize with her. Whilst all I feel right now is amusement, I know that she must be feeling something else. She's still scared of the humans, with their unpredictable behaviour. I'm not scared anymore. My body is sometimes, but I''m not, I know no-one here would ever hurt me.


	3. Lost

After Sunny and I finish the meal preparations, I tell her I want to go to my room. I'm hoping she will take that as a cue to go do something herself, but instead she asks me if she can come with me. Noticing the sad look on her face, I decide my visit to Doc will have to wait.  
Once we're in mine and Ian's room, I start questioning her.  
"Sunny, are you okay?"  
"No, I don't think I feel so well."  
"What's wrong then?" I take her hand, but she pulls it away, starting to fidget.  
"I don't really know, I just feel sick. I keep on throwing up about thirty minutes after every meal. Do you think there's something wrong with Jodi's body?"  
I note that she calls it Jodi's body, not her body. But since I haven't truly embraced my own new body either yet, I brush it off.  
"It could just be a flu or something," I suggest.  
"Kyle told me about the flu, then I should also have a fever, but I don't. I'm just nauseous all the time."  
I mull it over and then a thought dawns on me. What if she's pregnant? Of course, the only reason I even think it, is because I'm in this situation myself.  
"Why are you blushing Wanda?"  
I had fallen quiet, wondering if Kyle and her had really taken their relationship to that. They must have, they are always together, share a room. They're a lot like Ian and me.  
"Sunny, before you came here, you read the information about Earth, didn't you? And when you got Jodi's body, you got all her memories with it, right? And after that, I think you have followed some classes, just like we all did when we came to the caves. You must realize what's going on, why you're feeling sick."  
"Well, I'm sorry, Wanda, but I really don't get it."  
I can't explain it, but I sense something false in her statement. Is she simply rejecting the idea?  
"Have you bled recently? When was the last time?"  
"It must be. . . Around three months ago I think . . ." Sunny pales even more, "You think I'm pregnant?"

I don't get the chance to answer her, she jumps to her feet and starts pacing, muttering to herself.  
"It can't be, I thought she was taunting me."  
I'm really confused at her behavior. A pregnancy should be something to happy about. And who is this 'she' Sunny is referring to? Sunny starts to panic, I can see it on her face, she abruptly turns around and leaves the room. I follow right behind her.  
"Okay, Sunny, calm down. I will take you to Doc and we will ask him to check you out. Maybe it is something else."  
  
"I expected to see you earlier this afternoon." Doc greets me as soon as I enter the hospital with Sunny.  
A look towards him is all it takes to make him fall quiet. After all this time we've known each other now, Doc and I don't always need words.  
"What's going on? Why are you both here?"  
Sunny tries to talk, but she's not making any sense, so I explain for her. I tell Doc we think she might be pregnant and ask him if he has any way to make sure. Outside of the caves, in the hospitals, you do an ultrasound or a test. But we don't have the equipment needed for an ultrasound and I have no idea if Doc will have any tests. They're not a necessity, like pain medication. But Doc surprises me, he hands Sunny a test and explains to her how it works.  
Sunny leaves to go take the test, I debate going after her, but Doc stops me.  
"So, what did you want to talk to me about Wanda?"  
I can tell that he is worried for me.  
"I'm sorry Doc, but I'd rather not talk about it right now, I want to be here for Sunny."  
"Of course," he understands, "But was it something important? Do I need to take some time for you tonight?"  
I immediately discard that idea. Ian won't be done with working on the field until very late. I don't want him, Jamie and Kyle to have a cold dinner, so I'll stay in the kitchen to make sure they get a proper hot meal. By that time, Jared and Melanie will probably have returned and then we usually spend the evening with our friends in the kitchen. I don't want to draw any attention to myself by leaving then. Ian would insist he'd come with me.  
"Thank you Doc, it can wait."  
I can tell that Doc would be happy with even a tiny hint as to why I want to talk to him, but I keep looking at the entrance of the hospital, waiting for Sunny to return. Just as Doc wants to start talking, Sunny comes darting in, laying the test on the table.  
We all wait in silence for the few minutes it takes the test to give us a result. Doc gasps, Sunny becomes even whiter than she already was and I feel a small ping of jealousy in my stomach.  
  
Sunny is pregnant.  
  
"I'm going to have to take some blood to determine how long you've been pregnant."  
Sunny's not responding to Doc. He lightly tugs her arm, but she yanks it away from him.  
"I can't be pregnant! I need another test!" Sunny is screeching, on the verge of becoming hysterical.  
And then Doc slaps her. The sounds echoes in the room as we all stand in shock.  
"I'm sorry for doing that," Doc says apologetically, "But I needed to calm you down. I can assure you that another test is not necessary. Your nausea and not having your period for a few months already made it clear, the test only confirmed it. I just need to draw some blood so that I can test it to find out how long you've been pregnant already. Wanda said your last bleed was two, three months ago? Sit down, let me take some blood."  
The doctor in Doc is fully present now. Sunny sits down and allows Doc to draw her blood. Then he turns his attention to me.  
"I don't know what your plans for the rest of the day are, but I'm going to ask you to take care of Sunny today. You can't leave her alone until she has fully realized the situation and she won't flip out about it anymore. Will you do that for me?" "Of course Doc, I'll get her to her room,"  
I look at Sunny, sitting there, quiet and still. I take her arm. She doesn't withdraw, but doesn't respond either, quietly follows me out of the hospital.  
  
The room Kyle and Sunny share is not big. After Ian kicked Kyle out of his room so I could move in, Kyle had made Walters room bigger, so he and Sunny could stay there. But it's still only big enough to hold a bed and a small closet. That doesn't really matter, because no-one really has that much clothes to fill up a closet anyway. Sunny has tried to decorate the walls by drawing on them, the flowers she drew are beautiful. And the ceiling almost looks like the sky. She made the closet look like it's a part of the room by painting it like a tree. The branches go all the way up to the ceiling.  
This is the first time I'm in this room. I would not have expected that Kyle would want to stay in a room like this. But I assume he likes it.  
Sunny sits down on the bed, it doesn't look like she's going to say anything or that she wants to. I don't know what to say to her. I have not been having my period either. And I feel nauseous too, even though I thankfully haven't been throwing up. I'm almost positive that I'm pregnant as well. But the difference is that she _knows_ , she took a test. I can't be certain until I've actually taken a test myself, I know Doc has more. I feel uncertain about what to do now. It's clear that Sunny didn't expect a pregnancy. And by the way she panicked, I'm thinking she's not happy about it. How do I talk to her? What do I ask her? Does she need comfort?  
  
I feel tired and my back hurts, it feels like we've been in this room for hours, both wrapped in our own thoughts. I can't take the silence anymore.  
"Sunny, do you need anything? I can get Kyle. . ."  
"NO!" Sunny cuts through me, "Don't get Kyle! I don't want him to know yet. I don't want him to know at all."  
I'm shocked by her response.  
"You know you can't keep this from him."  
"No! I'm going back to Doc, he needs to get it out."  
Get it out?  
"Sunny, that's a waste! We don't waste! We are with humans, we feel like humans, but our goal as Souls is not to waste."  
I can't believe she's even suggesting it!  
"I'm sorry, but I don't care. I know Kyle won't want this. And I don't want it either."  
She stalks past me, starts to run towards the hospital. I follow right after her, I promised Doc I'd take care of her. We run through the big plaza and reach the tunnel that leads to the hospital, Doc is just leaving it, heading towards the kitchen. I smell the potatoes and carrots I was supposed to cook. With an internal sigh, I hope that Lilly or Heidi took over and that they aren't mad with me for skipping my chore.  
  
"Oh Doc! You're here! I need your help!"  
"What's wrong Sunny? Are you in pain? What do you need?"  
"Sunny. . ." I try to warn her, but she pays no attention to me.  
"You need to get it out Doc. I can't have it. I won't have it. You need to get it out!"  
Sunny is facing me and Doc, she is with her back to the tunnels leading to the fields. And the men are just getting back from their work. Jamie and Ian look shocked. Kyle doesn't move a muscle. And Sunny doesn't know that they're standing there.  
"I know you can do it, Doc. I know it's done. Take it out Doc."  
She grabs Doc's arm in an attempt to make him come to the hospital with him. Instead, Doc grabs her other arm as well and turns her around, facing the three men.  
Sunny is now seeing Kyle. Kyle, who is most definitely not happy.  
"You're pregnant?" The unthinkable happens, he slaps her across the face.  
"That is still Jodi's body! You can not be pregnant! I was going to have children with Jodi someday, not with you!"  
I jump in front of Sunny and push her away. Doc tries to grab my arm, but I'm already on the ground, Kyle has simply shoved me aside in order to get to Sunny. Doc is trying to hold Kyle back, but he is thrashing, fighting in Doc's grip. My stomach turns, how can he be so aggressive towards Sunny?  
  
"Wanda!" Jamie is already next to me, reaching out, wanting to help me to get up. But I can't get up. I know I can't.  
Doc can't hold Kyle any longer and he breaks loose, but Ian steps in and knocks him out with one punch in the face. Jamie is still trying to help me, but it's no use.  
"Please help Doc with Sunny, Jamie, she needs to be calmed down."  
I try to get Jamie to step away from me, I'm in so much pain. This, also, is so different from when I was in Melanie's body. That body was used to pain, this body isn't. I really want Jamie to just let me sit, it's getting harder for me to concentrate on anything but the pain.  
"But you're hurt, I need to help you up, maybe get you to the hospital," Jamie protests.  
"Jamie, please, just help Doc with Sunny," I plead.  
He doesn't want to, but obeys my request. Sunny is curled up like a ball on the flour, crying loud, refusing to stand as well.  
  
Ian takes charge of the situation.  
"Jamie. go warn Jeb. Tell him we need someone to lift Kyle to his bed. Doc, she's not that heavy, can you lift Sunny and take her to the hospital?"  
Ian kneels beside me.  
"Are you alright? Did you hit anything?" Yes, I did. "Can you get up or do you need me to carry you?"  
I can hear in his voice that he doesn't understand why I haven't gotten up yet. I am so happy that it's dark in this passage. No-one can see details in here. I don't want Ian to carry me, but I can't get up either, I really can't. The pain is so overwhelming, the cramps are too much to take. I can feel the blood on my legs. And I just start to cry.


	4. Pain

Ian sits down next to me and pulls me to his lap. He doesn't say a word, but just holds me. No words, no questions. It's a good thing, I don't think I'd be able to speak right now. After what seems like forever to me, Ian sighs. He picks me up and starts walking through the tunnel. My sobbing is still going, I don't look up, but hide my face to his chest. I really don't care where he's taking me. It can be either our room or the hospital, as long as I can lie down, I'll be okay.   
I can hear people gasping and I know we must be in the big plaza. Ian  keeps a steady fast pace, even if someone were to approach us, I think he'd ignore them.   
I wonder how long it will last until he realizes. My blood must be all over him. Hasn't he felt something wet by now? Hasn't he looked down yet? I feel the air become colder and notice with my eyes closed that it's darker again. I know he's taking me to our room. Ian lies me down on the bed and lights up a lantern. I can see him now, his back is towards me. I'd rather close my eyes again, but I know I have to face Ian. He turns around.   
  
"What happened? Why are you bleeding? I need to get you to Doc."   
Almost dropping the lantern in the process, he rushes back to my side.  
"Ian . . . No . . ."   
After all of the crying, my voice is raspy and very soft. Ian doesn't hear me. He's already carrying me and heading out of the room. I clear my throat and try again.  
"Ian. I don't need to go to Doc, really. Put me back down please."   
I know he heard me this time, but he keeps moving. The shaking of his head shows me that he thinks I'm being ridiculous for not wanting medical care.   
"I have to get you to Doc. I don't get why you're bleeding. Did you fall on something pointy or hard?"  
I don't want to leave the room and have people see me again.  
"Ian. Put me down. You don't have to take me to Doc, I don't need to see him."  
Even when he thinks I'm wrong about something or not taking good care of myself, Ian will let me decide. He wants me to always know that I have the right to decide for myself. Only when he thinks I'm being too selfless, he just does whatever he thinks is needed for me. Just like other times, he is letting me have the benefit of the doubt first. He carefully places me back on the bed.   
"What's going on then? Why are you bleeding?"

I really don't want to tell him. And for a minute, I  _can't._ Another cramp engulfs me and I put both of my hands on my stomach. Ian's watching me, waiting for my response. I take a deep breath.  
  
"I'm having a miscarriage."  
It comes out as a small whisper, but he heard it.   
Ian falls dead silent and sits perfectly still, I can see all of his muscles are tense. I don't know what to say now, don't know how to act. Is he waiting for me to say more? What is he thinking?  
"How long?"  
"What?"   
His question confuses me.  
"How long have you been pregnant? How long have you known?"  
"I didn't  _know._ I just realized this morning that I had missed my period a while ago already. I wanted to talk to Doc first, so he could help me find out for sure. I didn't tell you yet, because I wanted to be sure first. I know you don't want children . . ."  
  
"Wanda! I always want you to tell me everything. When there's something bothering you, when there's something wrong, I want you to tell me. So I can help you, so we can face things together. What did you think I was going to do? Act like Kyle did?"  
No. No, I know he wouldn't act like Kyle did. Ian wouldn't hurt me. But he just said this was wrong, something that's a bother, something that's wrong. My heart sinks. He must be mad that I was pregnant.   
"Tell me what you're thinking Wanda."  
"You must be relieved," I mutter.  
"Relieved?" Genuine confusion spreads on his face. "Why would I be relieved?"  
"You don't want children, you told me you don't want to bring children into this world. You must feel relieved."  
Ian gently pulls me close to him.   
"I am  _not_ relieved. No, I don't want to bring children into this world. Not the way this world is. But relieved? How could I be relieved that our child died?"  
He abruptly stands up, pulling me with him. My stomach doesn't like it, another cramp flows through it. Ian sweeps me up to hold me in his arms again.  
  
"I'm taking you to Doc."  
"Why? That's not necessary. It happened already, there's nothing Doc can do."   
"Of course here is. I want him to give you some pain medication."  
"I don't need pain medication, I can handle this."  
Even though I can go on a raid for new medication if needed, it doesn't feel right to use it for me. Ian sighs, guessing my thoughts.  
"Wanda, I know you. I know you must be grieving right now. You don't need physical pain added to that. I won't have it. I'm taking you to Doc."  
My heart swells with love and I decide to take the medicine, if only to make him happy.   
  
Only when he's already halfway through the tunnel and I hear voices in the distance, I realize we'll have to go cross the big plaza again.   
"Ian, please stop. I'll let you take me to Doc. But please, let me change clothes first. I don't want to go through the plaza in these clothes again. Everyone already saw. This time they won't let you just pass by again."  
"You're right," he agrees, "Let's get you in some clean clothes."  
"Okay," I decide, "Take me to the bathing cave, then you can go and get me something clean."  
"I am not leaving you alone," Ian practically growls.  
  
"Wanda! Ian! Are you guys there?"  
Jamie's calling out to us.  
"Well, they must be, everybody saw them going this way."   
Jared's voice carries through the passage, I'm glad Mel and he are back safe.   
"Do you know what happened Jamie? Trudy told me Wanda was covered in blood."  
"Kyle shoved her aside, Mel and she fell. She must've hurt herself."  
"Why would he do that?" Jared is clearly mad, I can tell from his voice.  
The three of them halt in their steps as they turn the corner and face us. Mel and Jared both start talking, but Ian lifts one of his hands, taking charge of the situation.  
"Wanda was hurt and I want to get her to Doc. But she wants to clean up and change clothes first. I don't want to leave her alone, so Jamie, can you please get her some clothes from our room?"  
"Of course, but what happened? Are you okay Wanda?"  
"Jamie," Ian is curt but kind, "We will explain later, but right now, we really need those clothes."  
I'm glad Ian is sending Jamie away. He's no longer a kid, but I still view him as a little brother, I don't want to tell him what happened.   
  
At the entrance to the bathing cave, Ian speaks up again.  
"Mel, can you help Wanda clean up? I can do it, but I think she'll be more comfortable with you right now."  
I squeeze Ian's hand. He's wrong, it doesn't matter to me.   
He gently lowers my feet to the ground.  It hurts, gravity pulling at my stomach, but at least I can stand. Without a word, Melanie wraps her arm around my waist and helps me in the cave.  
I sit down and take of my clothes. Instead of standing up again, I slide towards the water, lowering myself into it. I can feel the curiosity radiating off of Melanie, but she doesn't ask anything. Jared however, isn't as patient.   
'What the hell happened? Why did Kyle shove Wanda? And why is there so much blood? Don't you think the wound should be treated first instead of cleaning her up?"  
Ian provides only the facts, saying as little as possible.   
"Kyle was mad at Sunny and tried to hurt her. Wanda tried to protect Sunny, but Kyle shoved her out of the way. Wanda was pregnant and the fall caused her to miscarry the baby."  
  
There's a silence outside of the cave now. I can feel Melanie's eyes on me, but she doesn't say anything as she helps me to wash the blood of my legs. Normally she can't keep quiet. I remember how that was when I shared a body with her; she would keep on talking when I rather had her leave things alone. But now she isn't speaking, just helping me. I'm very thankful for it, because I really don't want to talk right now. A small sob escapes my throat as I think about the fact that we'll have to explain it again soon to Doc.  
Jamie arrives with the clothes and Jared ushers him away. I can hear Jamie complaining as the sound of their voices goes further and further away. Melanie helps me to get dressed and then leads me out of the cave, back to Ian. He watches me take two steps and then lifts me up again.   
"I can walk," I protest.  
"Maybe, but you don't have to."  
Melanie joins us on the way to the hospital, I'm glad she'll be staying near me for now. Ian places me on a bed and asks Melanie to sit with me. Doc's already standing behind his desk, but Ian reaches him before he can move away.   
Doc gives me both pain and sleep medication, telling me to try and relax. Ian lies next to me and I immediately drift off into a dreamless sleep. 


	5. Return

I wake up to the sound of voices. Spotting Jamie in the bed next to me, I smile a little. Of course he would come and be close to me. I don't want to wake him, he looks so peaceful when he sleeps.   
The voices were talking in a hushed tone, but now the volume goes up and I can hear what they're saying.   
"I really think you should leave Kyle."  
"I want to talk to Sunny, Doc."  
"I don't think Sunny will want to talk to you. And I don't want you in the same room with Wanda, do you realize what you've done? She miscarried!" I can hear that Ian is trying to keep his voice low, but the anger seeps through.   
"What? Miscarriage? Doc said Sunny was just fine."  
"Not Sunny! Wanda!" Ian hisses, "Wanda was pregnant as well. And she lost the baby because you shoved her out of the way."  
"Bro, I'm so - "  
"Leave Kyle. Get out. I don't want to be anywhere near you."  
  
"Kyle didn't know, Ian, it isn't his fault."  
The three men turn their attention towards me, none of them knew I was awake.  
"Wanda - "  
"Don't!" Ian grabs Kyle's arm and stops him from walking towards me.   
"Ian, I flipped okay? When I realized that Sunny was saying that she is pregnant, I just lost it. All I could think about was that it's Jodi in there!"  
"What do you mean," Ian demands, frustrated, "Sunny said Jodi was gone."  
  
"She came back."  
A stunned silence fills the room as Sunny enters the hospital.  
Jodi came back? When did this happen? Judging by the look on his face, I'm sure that Kyle already knew this.   
"I would like to speak with Wanda, I need to talk another Soul."   
"Please?" she adds as no one moves.   
My sense of duty towards another Soul takes over. Sunny trusts me and I have to help her. Even if I don't want to. And I know it's selfish, but I don't want to. My human emotions are flowing through me. She is pregnant and doesn't want it and she is still pregnant. I was overjoyed at the prospect of having a baby and I lost it. It isn't fair.   
Ian looks at me and I try to make him understand with my eyes that I want to do this.   
"Can you take Jamie away?" I suggest.   
Ian simply nods and lifts Jamie up  - that boy is such a deep sleeper, he won't notice a thing. Doc gets Kyle to leave as well and then it's just me and Sunny in the room.   
  
"I love this world," she suddenly starts after a few minute of silence, "I love Earth and I love life as a human being. I didn't want to leave when Kyle first came to get me. I didn't want to leave this world. So I told him that Jodi wasn't here in the body with me, that she wouldn't come back. Of course he tried anyway. And she wasn't here, in this body. I was so glad that Kyle had decided to put me back. Because . . . I was already in love with him myself. Jodi's body was in love with him and her memories had made me know him."  
I could relate to what she was saying. I had felt in love with Jared as well, just because Melanie's body was. And after a while, I had started to love him too, though in a different way.   
"Even though Kyle chose for me to stay in this body, he made it very clear that he did it for Jodi. That he was still hoping for Jodi to return. And he told me that if she would, he would let Doc take me out. He was very nice, but honest about it. There was no doubt in my mind that he would do it, I was a substitute, the next best thing. And I don't want it! I don't want to leave!"  
She trembles and let's out a dry sob.  
"I know you don't, Sunny, but it's the right thing to do. If Jodi is back, you have to let her have her body."  
"Yes." she agrees with me, almost absentmindedly, "At first I thought that if Jodi came back, I could get a body like you. A body who's really empty without a Soul, so that I can stay as well. But even though Kyle is kind, he doesn't  _love me._ He loves Jodi, has been holding onto hope all this time that she would return to him.  
Every evening when we were alone, Kyle would ask me about Jodi's life. What this body remembers about the life Jodi had before I took over the body. He had me describe all sort of things into the finest details. Dates the two of them went on, childhood memories, classes she took in school. I thought it was because he wanted to hear about her life, because he missed her so much. But it wasn't. He was trying to trigger her. He was making me remembering Jodi in the hopes of her return."  
Sunny falls quiet for a moment, staring ahead.   
"At first it was faint. I noticed that my mind was responding to things. They weren't feelings or thoughts. It was just the faint feeling that I wasn't the one having those responses, deep inside. After that she begun to try to talk to me. I blocked her out at first, didn't want to acknowledge her presence. Because her being here means that I will have to leave."  
Her eyes fill with tears and despite myself, I feel bad for her. I know how it is to be in love and to not want to leave this life behind.   
  
She goes back to what she said before.  
"I thought about going into another body, an empty body. But then I'd have to see Kyle and Jodi every day. And I don't think I could stand that. But I know that I have to leave. Especially being pregnant, I can't deny Jodi and Kyle their happiness. I love Kyle too much to not want him to be happy."  
"Kyle. . . "  
"He knows. He has known for a few weeks now. That's why I didn't want a baby, I knew that he would be mad. I knew it would make him want Jodi back even more than he already did."  
I have a lot of questions, some I want to ask, others I don't dare asking. Kyle and Sunny have been intimate, I was sure he wouldn't have been intimate with her if he had known. But if he was holding out hope for Jodi's return, I didn't really understand why he would be intimate with Sunny. But I would never ask those things.   
"I don't understand Jodi, if Kyle knew, why didn't he tell anyone? Go to anyone? How and when did he find out?"  
"Kyle started noticing that I seemed far away sometimes, deep lost in thought. He mirrored that to what you did when you were in Melanie's body. He said it looked like I was having conversations with myself, the way you used to look when you and Melanie were talking. After that, he noticed that I couldn't remember little things that I had said or done. Like telling him that I love him whilst doing the laundry, or having sat on his lap for a moment in the kitchen. He realized that Jodi was back, that she was taking control over the body sometimes. And he confronted me about it, asked me to leave. He told me I was a very nice Soul, but I wasn't his Jodi. I was desperate. I said that I'd rather have this body gone with me than leave myself."  
I stiffen and instinctively move away from Sunny. She threatened to take hers and Jodi's live away from Kyle. I can understand why he didn't tell anyone that Jodi was back. He must have been too afraid of losing Jodi forever. If Sunny couldn't keep Jodi's body, she would make sure Kyle couldn't have it either. I grew more and more uncomfortable. Who was this Soul next to me? This was nothing like the way a Soul should be. Human emotions had enriched my life so much! But it seemed it had darkened Sunny.   
  
"You're mad at me. You should be, I was wrong. I hope you believe that I wouldn't have done it. I love Kyle, I would never do that to him. I was desperate and threatened him with something I could never even execute. I know that I was wrong."  
A single tear drops down on her leg.  
"Jodi is fading, she is making herself fade away. She was mad at me for not leaving, she was mad at me for threatening this body's life. But now, she's hurting. Intensely. She wants to have this baby with Kyle. She stopped fighting me and hasn't talked to me every since we found out about the pregnancy. I can feel that she's trying to make herself go away because it'll hurt her too much to stay and watch me start a family with Kyle. I have to leave."  
I can't help myself. At the sight of more tears streaming down on her face I put my arm around her, pull her close to me. Yes, I'm mad at her. Yes, I think she has to leave, give the body back to Jodi. But she is intensely sad and I feel for her. I feel her grief over what she knows she has lost. Something that was never hers, but she wants it so badly. So I just sit with Sunny until she calms down and relaxes in my arms.  
"I wanted to speak with you alone, because I need you to do it now. Before I can change my mind and before someone comes back. Will you please do it now, Wanda?"  
I hesitate.   
"I don't know if that's a good idea, Sunny. . ."  
"Please! I don't want to say goodbye, I just want to go."  
I'd rather wait for Doc, I think it would be nicer for Jodi as well, having Kyle here when she wakes up. But I feel for Sunny. I get why she wants it like this.  
"Okay, I'll do it."  
  
"Sunny, it's okay, I will make sure that nothing happens to you," I reassure her.   
"I don't care what happens to me Wanda. I don't have the desire to go to another planet. All I want to do now is make Kyle happy."  
I take the medicine I will need from Doc's cabinets, along with a Soul tank and a scalpel.   
"I can't turn you around after I use the Sleep on you, so please lay down on your belly."  
"Wait!" she stops me before spraying the Sleep in her face, "Please tell Kyle that I truly do love him."  
"I will," I promise,  
  
After spraying her with the Sleep, I put the No Pain in her mouth. I swipe aside the hair in her neck so I have a clear working space. I really don't want to do this, but I make myself continue, not thinking about what I'm doing too much. I make the cut and remove the Soul - Sunny. Just like every other Soul, she looks beautiful. I put her in the tank and close it. Then I turn back to the body - Jodi now. I use Heal and then Smooth, so the wound is healed and almost invisible.   
Now all I have to is wait. I have no idea how long it will take for Jodi to wake up.  
How long has it been since the men left us? I move the tank to one of the cabinets, I don't know what Jodi will do if she sees it.   
After a while I hear footsteps in the tunnel. Jodi stirs. As I return to her, she sits up. She looks at me, but immediately shifts her gaze to the doorway.   
  
"Kyle!"


	6. Going out

Jodi jumps up and runs towards Kyle. But he doesn't know yet that it's her.   
"Sunny, really, you need to leave."  
He looks at me as if to ask: 'didn't you convince her?'.  
"I know you don't want to, but you have to leave."  
"I'm not Sunny."  
"What are you talking about, Sunny?"  
"I'm not Sunny, stop calling me that Kyle! I'm Jodi! Sunny left."  
"What?" Kyle looks around the room, bewildered, "Where is she?"  
"She asked me to remove her from the body." I state.   
Kyle shouts out on excitement and lifts Jodi up, pulling her into his arms.  
"I have to thank you Wanda." Jodi beams at me.   
  
I feel shy under their gratitude. Kyle lifts me into a hug as well. Ouch. I try not to let it show, but my face scrunches up in pain.   
"I thought I told you to stay away from my girlfriend Kyle!" Ian rushes over and releases me from Kyle's grip, "Why is there shouting in here?"  
"Ian!" Jodi calls out to him, but he steps back.   
"I'm going to have to go through that with every single person here, aren't I?" she mutters to herself.   
Ian is just as confused as Kyle was. He suspiciously looks at Kyle, who has gone back to holding Jodi close to him. I think I need to explain to Ian, but of course, he figures it out on his own. He is so observant. He always noticed the changes in Melanie's body when I shared it with her. And he immediately knew I was gone from Melanie's body after her return. And it clicks for him, he knows that Sunny is gone from the body.   
"Jodes! You're back! But what happened to Sunny?"  
As Jodi starts to explain, I try to leave the room, but Ian grabs my wrist, pulling me back.   
"Stay."  
"Ian," I whisper, "This is a family thing."  
"You  _are_ family, Wanda. Stay."  
  
After about an hour, Doc and Jamie show up with breakfast and Kyle and Jodi leave, wanting to spread the news around.   
Ian hands me some pain medication, which I take without objection. I tell Doc where I left Sunny's tank and he promises to keep her safe.  
"I'm so sorry about what happened Wanda."   
Jamie's voice is filled with such genuine sorrow for me that I tear up.   
"I brought scrambled eggs!" he pushes past the moment, "Jared and Mel brought back eggs yesterday."  
That sparks some curiosity in me. Where did they go that they would come back with eggs? With me going on raids for food, medicine and other supplies, there is no need for them to endanger themselves to steal eggs.  
Maybe they were feeling adventurous and wanted to steal something. But even that is hard to imagine. After all that has happened, Jared is too cautious to do something like that.   
"Thank you for breakfast Jamie, I'll just go and wash up these plates, get them to the kitchen, see if I can help."  
"Oh no you're not," Ian disagrees, "You're taking the day off."  
Ian takes the plates from me and shoves them into Jamie's hands.   
"I like to help out and I like to keep busy." I give him the same reason I always give for my productiveness.  
"Well, not today. We are going out."  
"Out? What do you mean?"  
"I mean out. You need fresh air. And you need to rest up."  
"Ian, I really feel fine."  
"I believe you, but you're still going to keep rest for at least a day. If my get my way, two more."  
Two more days? He can't be serious. I can't just slack around for three days. His face shows me he means it though. Doc quickly agrees with Ian, saying my body needs time to heal.   
  
Jamie has already left and we leave Doc behind. Walking through the tunnel, Ian suddenly pushes me into a small hollow in the wall.   
"Don't do that to me again, Wanderer."  
The only times he calls me Wanderer is when he's teasing me or he wants me to really listen to him. This is the latter.  
"You can't make me worry for you. When something is wrong, or you even think that something could be wrong, I want you to tell me. I want to know every little thing that goes on in that head of yours."  
Ian kisses me passionately, within seconds he has me gasping for air. The fire between us causes me to not be able to think straight anymore. I melt away under Ian's touch. His hands go up my arms, to my shoulders and back down my back. I want to be as close to him as possible. When Ian pulls back I make a disapproving sound, but then I hear a chuckle. Melanie and Jared are watching us, laughing. Of course my cheeks immediately burn up.   
Ian doesn't let go of me, keeps us locked in our position in the hollow.  
"I heard you're taking Wanda out Ian." Melanie says.  
"Yep," Ian doesn't even look away from me, "We're taking the day off together."  
  
His fingers are drawing circles on my back. Why does he do that? They are standing right next to us and I can't concentrate. This is inappropriate. I squirm in Ian's hold, but he firmly keeps me from moving, a mischievous grin on his lips.   
"So," Jared starts, "Do you two think you would like company?"  
I'm out of breath, but I manage to answer, "Of course we-"  
"Don't," Ian interrupts, "We'd really like to spend today alone together, Howe."  
When Ian and Jared call each other by their last names, we all know to take them seriously. Jared doesn't press it.   
"Well, alright. We will talk to you two later then. I suggest the two of you leave now, then. At breakfast, Jeb told everyone why Wanda was in the hospital. The girls are all set to smother her with kindness."  
"Thanks for the warning Mel, we'll take Doc's exit."  
Ian's hands are inching lower on my back, I'm really starting to get nervous now.  
"Have fun . . ." Jared laughs as he and Mel walk away.   
Ian is kissing me again. When I squirm again, he stops and looks at me with dark eyes.  
"What is it?"  
"We can't just stand here and feel each other up. Anyone could just walk out here and see us."  
"Well, let's find someplace private then."  
  
The wind is cool, but I don't mind it at all, my skin is burning. The rocks around us are blocking us from view, but there are a few sun filled spots, we sit down at one of those spots. Ian pulls me closer to him and starts to kiss me. Technically everyone could still walk out and see us here, but the only people who know where we are, also know we want to be left alone. I sigh and lean into Ian, lying down with him, kissing. I could do this all day.


	7. Talking it over

After a few hours outside, Ian got hungry. Of course he was. He didn't want to leave me alone to get food, and I didn't want to face anyone yet. So we waited until after lunch time, hoping everyone would be back to their chores. We sneaked inside and hid in the dark spot in the tunnels. I was sure I would give us away, I kept on giggling. After every corner, Ian would pull me to him for a kiss - or two. When we got to the plaza, it was completely empty. Usually at least one or two people would be there. I figured they must be in the kitchen, our main meeting point, still excited about Jodi's return. We hurried across the cave, opting for the storage room instead of the kitchen. Ian insisted on getting snacks, saying I deserved some. I disagreed, but let him take the snacks anyway. This body couldn't eat much, so most of it would be for him.   
When we went to find our way back outside, we came across Isaiah. Ian put his finger to his lip and winked, "Ssssshhh. . ."  
Once outside, we ate some snacks and drank some soda. We hadn't done much this morning besides for kissing and staying physically close to each other. I knew we had to talk.  
  
My head is on Ian's chest as he is stroking my hair. He just sighed for the third time in a row. I know he is waiting for me to start the conversation. I am sure he's thinking that me letting it out, talking it through will help. But I'm dreading it.   
"You know," he starts after a few more minutes, "I'm still debating on what I should do to Kyle."  
I try to push myself up, but Ian has his arm firm around me, not willing to let go.  
"He is your brother, you're not going to do anything."  
"Do you really have to keep reminding me that we're related?"  
"Ian. He  _is._ You know he didn't mean to harm me. He didn't know."  
Ian has said it, explained it to others. But whilst I've thought it, I haven't said it aloud yet. Kyle didn't know I was pregnant. Kyle didn't mean to make me miscarry. My throat swells, I can't say it out loud yet.   
"I still don't care whether he knew or not. He should know better than to touch you. Hurt you. Ever."   
Ian's fist clenches.  
"I can understand why you're upset. I am too. But getting to Kyle isn't going to help."  
  
"You are?"  
Ian sits up and pulls me up with him, positioning me so that he can face me.  
"I'm what?"  
"Upset."  
I'd rather lie down again so I don't have to look him in the eyes when I'm talking about this. He said he wasn't happy about it. But that's not the same as being sad about it. He's angry that Kyle hurt me, but how does he feel about the pregnancy itself? This is hard to do, since I don't know what he's thinking. But like always, I tell him the truth.   
"Yes, Ian, I am upset. A lot. Of course being pregnant wasn't part of our plan," I almost choke on the words, saying it out loud makes it even more real, "When I miscarried yesterday . . .  It upset me. I would never want to lose a baby. As a Soul, I can not bear the thought of a loss like that."  
"So it's because you're a Soul, it's a waste to you."  
"No!" I disagree with that being the reason, "Well, yes, it is. But this was our baby. My baby. Even though we did not plan it and you didn't want it, I would have fought for that baby. It was in my belly for less than two months. And I only knew for one day. But I already loved it."  
Ian stays quiet. I keep my eyes focused on the ground, not wanting to look at him. What is he thinking? Will he be mad at me for having wanted this baby?  
  
"Wanda," Ian's voice is hoarse.  
I don't look up, so he reaches out to my chin, gently nudging me to look him in the eyes.  
"Wanda," he says again, I see tears gleaming in his eyes, "I would have loved this baby as well. I told you; I'm not happy or relieved about what happened. I am not just mad at Kyle for what he did to you. I am mad at him for what he did to  _us_! That was  _our_ baby!"  
Ian abruptly stands up and kicks at a pile of rocks. Tension flows out of my body and relief washes over me. He doesn't only care for me, about me. But he wanted the baby too. He cared about the baby as well.   
"Ian."  
He looks at me with bewildered eyes, he seems unreachable.  
I stand up and hold out my hand. He reaches for it and pulls me into a hug and we just stand there, holding onto each other. It's getting dark and it's getting cold, but I don't care.   
  
Hungry and tired I decide it's better to face everyone now, instead of putting it off even longer. The kitchen is full, no one notices  us at first. Most people are sitting around Kyle and Jodi. Every time I saw Kyle with Sunny, he was physically close to her. but with Jodi I can see that it's different. With Sunny, it looked like he was protecting her, caring, comforting her the entire time. Sunny always seemed to need it to, with her insecure, dependent demeanor. With Jodi, it's clear that this is a genuine, equal love. There is no longer a worshiping expression on her face. The love is still radiation off of her, just different.   
"How are you feeling?" Melanie reaches out her hand across the table to hold mine.   
"I'm fine, I'll be okay," I assure her.  
"Come sit with us, little brother!" Kyle shouts from the other end of the room, drawing attention to Ian and me.   
Ian leaves me at the table, heading for the group of people. They've all fallen quiet.  
"No," he doesn't raise his voice, "I will not sit with you. I will not talk to you. With everything you did, I kept forgiving you. Every time I wanted to believe that it was just a bad part of you. That you weren't thinking straight. And maybe you weren't thinking straight this time either. But I'm done, Kyle. I'm done with you. I do not want to sit with you. I do not want to talk to you. I don't even want to look at you anymore."  
Ian turns his attention to Jodi.  
"I am so sorry, Jodes. I'm really glad that you're back."  
He abruptly turns to the counter and grabs two full plates. Handing me one, he sits down next to me, his back is straight, but I can feel him trembling.   
  
"Ian . . ."  
"Not now. Eat."  
I place one of my hands on his leg in silent support and start on my meal.   
"Uncle Jeb says we're all going to play a game tonight, to celebrate Jodi's return."  
Jamie is overflowing with enthusiasm at the prospect of it.   
"That's great Jamie, have fun."   
Even if this body was physically fully healthy, I wouldn't be able to participate. The game is too physical for me, I wouldn't last five minutes.  
"Aren't you going to come and watch?"  
"I think Wanda will want to rest Jamie," Melanie tries to rein him in.  
"But it'll be fun! You didn't come yesterday either! Sitting and watching is also resting, isn't it?"  
The disappointment on his face is enough to win me over.  
"Of course I'll come and watch."  
Ian jerks his head towards me but doesn't say anything. As everyone gets up and leaves the room, Jared pulls up Melanie, her feet leaving the floor because of the strength and speed he puts into his movement. I still love seeing them this happy.   
As we walk towards the game room, Ian whispers in my ear.  
"Are you really sure you want to go and watch? You don't have to."  
"I know, but Jamie is right. Sitting down is resting too. Besides, it'll distract me a bit."  
Those last words are the argument that wins him over.  
"Alright, but I'm staying with you."  
"I know how you love to play, you don't have to sit it out for me. Join them."  
"Not tonight. I don't feel like celebrating."  
I get comfortable in Ian's tight embrace as we watch the game in silence.


	8. Explanations

The next few weeks in the caves are quiet and our lives return to normal. Ian keeps me from doing chores for a week. I don't like it, but Doc backs him up on the decision, saying that my body needed to heal.   
My fear or not knowing what Kyle and Jodi will do about Sunny makes it so that I ask Melanie to send her away as soon as possible. We decide to send her to the Dolphin planet, I hope she'll heal and be happy there.   
Melanie, Jared, Ian and I plan on going on a raid soon. Kyle doesn't want to leave Jodi and won't let her join either. I'm not too bothered about it, things between Kyle and Ian are still very tense. Ian still won't talk to Kyle but just changes direction every time they encounter each other. I know that it's even harder for Ian that this also means he isn't having any contact with Jodi. Jodi feels like a sister to Ian in the same that Jamie is a brother to Jared. I can tell it's hard for him to miss her, but he doesn't want to talk about it.   
  
I forgot one of Ian's shirts with the batch of laundry, so I rush back through the tunnels to get it. I light up as I hear Melanie's voice coming from one of the other rooms. She and Jared have been going out together often lately and last night they returned from another trip. I hadn't seen her yet.   
"Wanda doesn't like me, do you know why that is?"  
I pause, not sure if I want to hear this. But the human side of my emotions - curiosity - is making me want to hear this.  
"I don't think it's you that is the problem, Jodi."  
"Is it because of Kyle then? I know from the time that Sunny was in my body that Wanda was nice to her. Is Wanda missing Sunny? She seems to be avoiding me now, not just when Kyle is around, but all the time. Whenever we are scheduled for a chore together, she doesn't talk to me unless it's necessary. It's like she's mad at me."  
Guilt washes over me. I haven't been thoughtful enough of Jodi's feelings. Of course she must be thinking that I don't like her.  
"Really, Jodi, it's nothing personal. It's just that you have what she doesn't."  
"What do you mean?"  
"You are pregnant, she isn't anymore. Seeing your belly growing, you are a reminder of what Wanda lost. I know that she doesn't resent you for it and I'm sure she isn't angry with you. But I also know that she must be feeling pain and loss whenever she looks at you. And in these caves it's hard to avoid someone altogether. She's not mad at you, she's still grieving."  
  
Shaking all over, I feel a sob coming up in my throat. Melanie is right, I'm still grieving. And I didn't even fully realize it myself. She knows me so well. I don't want them to hear me crying, don't want to give away I've been listening to them, so I turn to leave.   
An arm wraps around my waist and a hand covers my mouth.  
"Sshh. . . Don't make a sound. I just want to talk to you."  
I get pulled into my room, but he's not letting go of me.   
"Don't. Scream."   
After a nod, Kyle's hands leave my body. He turns me to face him and sees the tears streaming down.   
"Hey, what's wrong with you?"  
He is clearly at a loss on what to do now. This was not what he was expecting.   
I can't speak, my throat is too hot and thick, so I just shake my head.  
"Uhm . . . I'm sorry, but I've been trying to get you alone for some time now. Ian just won't leave your side. You have to get Ian to talk to me again. Please."  
I'm choking on the words, but manage to blurt out: "Kyle, please leave."  
"But you have to help me," he begs, "I really didn't mean to harm you or your baby. You have to get Ian to forgive me."  
"I can't help you," I sob, "Please go."  
Human emotions are taking over me. Can't he see that I'm in no state of mind to talk? But he's desperate.  
"Wanda, please, just help me. Just do this for me and Jodi. I know that you can."  
Something snaps inside of me.   
"Leave!" I screech, "Get out! I can't help you! I want you to leave me alone! Now!"  
I cover my hand with my mouth, shocked that I would scream like that.  
  
"You heard her. Leave."  
Relief washes over me. Ian's here. He pulls me into his arms.   
"What did he do to you?" But he doesn't wait for an answer from me, "Why are you still standing there? Get out of our room."  
Melanie and Jodi show up in the doorway.   
"Hey, bro, I didn't do anything to her. She was already crying when I got here. I just wanted to talk to her. I miss you Ian, you're my little brother."  
"How do you always seem to be able to pick the worst times for showing up? Get. Out!"  
Kyle holds up his hands and backs away, "Okay, okay, I'll go."  
He reaches for Jodi, but she doesn't take his hand, her eyes focused on Ian.  
"Will you talk to me?" she offers.  
Ian doesn't acknowledge her question, but focuses on me. I nod, I can't refuse him this. He sighs so softly that only I can hear it.   
Not taking his eyes of off me, Ian replies: "Fine, Jodes, you stay."  
I know he's wanting me to explain, but I shake my head as I wipe my tears. It will have to wait.   
  
"I left the laundry in the washing cave. I should go and get it so you and Jodi can talk. . ."  
"Stay," Ian interrupts, "The laundry can wait, I want you here with me."  
Need you here with me, his eyes are saying.  
"I think it's time that we talk about this, don't you Ian?" Jodi challenges him.   
"How can you Jodi? How can you forgive Kyle for what he did? And I'm not even only referring to what he did to Wanda. But for what he did to you. How can you forgive him? I don't know you like this Jodes, you've always stood up to him. Told him when he was wrong. I didn't expect you to to forgive him just like that."  
Ian's arm tightens on my waist, the feelings of betrayal fueling his fire. Jodi let him rant, but counters with the same fire.   
"You're right Ian, you  _do_ know me better than this. Do you really think I forgave him just like that?"  
I still don't fully understand human emotions. Is she mad at Ian for being mad at her? Or for not talking to Kyle?   
"At first I was just relieved that I had my body back again," she continues, "In those weeks that I was back, but Sunny wouldn't leave, I was trapped in my own body.  _My_ body. But she wouldn't return it to me. Because of Sunny being in love with Kyle too, I felt so much love for him. So when I woke up, at first all I could feel was overwhelming love. After all these years, I was finally back with the love of my life again. We were together and I didn't think about anything else. For the first day and night, I didn't want to be distracted by anything, I wanted to focus on my happiness.  
But then I thought about everything. The second night, when we were alone, I confronted Kyle. I yelled at him, I was mad at him. How could he be with Sunny? How could he have wanted to hurt Sunny. Hurt me, hurt our baby? And he cried.  _Kyle_ cried. And he explained what he had experienced that evening.  
He heard Sunny say she was pregnant. And he just lost it. He doesn't even remember what happened or what he said."  
Jodi's voice takes on a pleading tone.  
"I didn't just forgive him, Ian. I didn't just let him off the hook, I couldn't. But after what Sunny had done to him, refusing to leave while he knew I was back. I can understand it. I can sympathize with it. It doesn't make it right. And it doesn't make your and Wanda's loss any less terrible. But yes, I forgave him. After weeks of despair, he did an awful thing. A thing that can not be overlooked and forgotten. But I am choosing to not hold him accountable for it."  
  
I can understand Jodi. Love can forgive almost anything, it can overcome a lot. After a few minutes of silence, Ian speaks up.  
"I'm sorry, Jodi, I don't know if I can. Even when trying to see his side, I don't know if I can stop holding him responsible for what he did."  
"But he didn't know. . ."  
"It doesn't matter if he knew or not. I need my space from him, at least for now."  
"I can understand that," Jodi agrees, "I'm not going to give up though. He misses you. He feels regret and sorrow. Not just for your personal loss, but also for himself, that baby would have been his niece or nephew. He also feels that it's unfair that his child will get to live while yours doesn't."  
Jodi's words sting, I had not allowed myself to think about the baby for a while. And it astonishes me, I'm having a hard time imagining Kyle with feelings of remorse like that.  
"Obviously Kyle will never admit that." Ian chuckles silently, Jodi stand up to leave, "Thanks for hearing me out, both of you."  
  
As I try to get up as well, Ian holds me tight.  
"The laundry . . ." I protest.  
"I told you, the laundry can wait. Besides, even if the clothes get 'lost', we'll just get new ones at the next raid.  
"That would be a waste!"  
"So be it. Lie with me, don't leave me alone."  
Don't leave me alone. The argument that will keep me close to him.  
"Now, I want to know what Kyle did or said to make you cry."  
"He didn't."  
The immediate, clear doubt on Ian's face almost makes me laugh out loud.  I start explaining what happened. Ian doesn't comfort me with words, but just holds me.  
And for now, that's all I need.


	9. Raiding

"You won't catch me this time Mel!"  
Jamie flashes past me, closely followed by Melanie. She'll catch him.   
Jared is the only one who ever outran her. And her competitive side didn't like that, so she kept pushing herself until not even he managed to beat her anymore.   
"Where's Ian?"  
"He went ahead to get the jeep to the nearest cave."  
"He's still not letting you make the run out there?" Jared smiles and frowns at the same time.  
Of course Ian isn't.   
It has been almost three months since my miscarriage. In those two months, I've been out on two raids for some necessities. Ian wouldn't let me stay out for more than a day both times. But everyone in the caves has gotten used to the luxury articles I was able to get them. Since we're running out of stuff, I've convinced Ian to let me go on a longer raid.  
When Jared and I get to the end of the tunnel, leaving the cave, Jamie and Mel are already waiting for us. Jamie is panting, but Mel is completely relaxed. No need to ask who won.   
We all get in the jeep and Ian drives us to where the other cars are hidden. Melanie and Jared take the van. They take the lead, we follow them out into the darkness.   
We go to different areas every time we go out on a long raid. This time we decide to drive far away and get the supplies we need on the drive back. We brought food and water, so we drive for a full day before stopping at a motel early in the evening.   
Ian drops me off at the front door of the motel. He still doesn't like it, tenses up every time I go out alone, but it's the only way to book us rooms.   
They are all waiting for me at the parking lot when I return with the room keys. We grab empty suitcases and bags and head in. Melanie and Jared take one room, Ian and I share the other one with Jamie.   
  
Ian pulls me close to him and easily falls asleep. I would sleep too, but Jamie is tossing and turning, keeping me awake.   
After an hour, I sit up, both annoyed and concerned.  
"What is it Jamie?"  
"I'm sorry!" he says, flustered.  
"Why aren't you sleeping?"  
"It's nothing."  
But I know better.  
"Tell me," I insist, as I sit down on his bed.  
"I'm kind of nervous. . ." Jamie looks uncomfortable, "I know all of you have done this plenty of times. And I've been on raids lots of times. But tomorrow will be the first time I'll go into a store."  
  
It's late Spring, almost Summer. The sun is out so much that wearing sunglasses isn't suspicious at all. So every time I go into a store to get supplies, someone comes in with me.   
We had agreed that tomorrow, Jamie will accompany me. Melanie and I originally argued against the idea, but Ian and Jared insisted. Eventually Jamie's pleads won us over. Him being nervous makes me go into protective sister mode.  
"If you don't want to come, then - "  
"No!" he gasps out, "I want to come! I knew I shouldn't tell you, I knew you'd make me stay back."  
"You can come," I assure him, "We already agreed to that. I just don't want you to be scared about it."  
"I'm not scared. I'm. . . anxious, that's all."  
"Okay," I agree, "Try to get some sleep though?"  
Instead of returning to Ian, I lie down next to Jamie. He gratefully pulls me close and hugs me as he slowly starts to drift off.  
  
I wake up to a shadow falling over my eyes. Ian looks down at me with a smile.  
"The boy needed some company?" he whispers.  
Afraid of waking Jamie, I nod instead of answering. I grab hold of Ian's wrist and turn it to see what time it is on his watch. The store will be opening in an hour, unfortunately I'll have to wake Jamie up then.   
Before I can move, a knock on the door wakes Jamie. He quickly sits up, pulling me with him. He looks at me as if he is wondering what I'm doing next to him. And then he blushes.   
Luckily, neither Jared or Melanie asks any questions.   
While I return the room keys to the reception desk, the rest take our suitcases back to the van and jeep. We drive off to go 'raid' in the mall.  
  
"Let's go, Jamie."  
We walk into a mall, and I head straight for a clothing store. I can feel that Jamie is tense, so I whisper to him.  
"Relax. Try to look comfortable."  
"Easier said than done," he mutters, but he rolls his shoulders and walks a bit more loose.   
In the store I help Jamie get some men clothes first and then I go to pick out some maternity clothes. It's not necessary to get these, but since I'm here now, I want to get some for Jodi, I hope she will appreciate it.   
When we get to the register, the Soul behind the counter turns her eyes to my belly.  
"You're not showing yet. Are you excited to have a baby? It must feel so great to fulfill a calling as a Mother."  
I blush as she chatters on, waiting for a moment to step in and explain.  
"Oh no, I'm not pregnant. We're getting the clothes for a neighbor. She's not feeling well due to the pregnancy, so I offered to get her the things she needs."  
"Oh," the girl's face falls, "I'm so sorry for being wrong. Tell your neighbor that I hope she feels well soon."  
"No problem," I assure her, "Thank you."  
"Have a nice day!" she calls after us as we leave with the bags.  
"Wow, that  _was_ easy," Jamie exclaims as we meet up with the others by the cars.  
"Don't think too lightly about it Jamie, it's still dangerous," Jared warns him.   
  
"Well, I'm hungry, let's go get some food Wanda."  
I head for the supermarket, thinking we'll get some sandwiches, but Melanie really wants some fast food. We order fries and burgers for everyone. Mel even feels comfortable enough that when the Soul looks questioningly at the amount we order, she explains:  
"Our friends are waiting outside, they're enjoying the sun so much that they didn't want to eat inside today."  
The Soul smiles and warns us not to get sunburn.   
  
We spend the entire day getting packaged food, clothes and luxury items like soap. We will get fresh food when we're closer to home.   
I book rooms at a motel again. This time Jamie shares with Melanie and Jared and Ian and I get a room to ourselves.  
It was a warm and long day and we could really use a shower. After I've been in the shower for about five minutes, Ian comes in.  
"Do you mind if I join you?"  
Before I can answer him, his mouth is already on mine. His arms are around me and his hands move to my buttocks to lift me up, I clamp my legs around his hips. As my back touches the wall, I gasp at the coldness of it.   
Ian tries to pull away from and of course I'm not physically strong enough to keep him from doing that, but I still pull him back in to kiss him. The streams of water tingle on my already sensitive skin. There is some agitation in my kisses and Ian responds with the same intensity. I can't think straight anymore. I'm panting for breath and I move my hips.   
  
Ian freezes at the spot. He just stands completely still, looking at me.  
"Wanda."  
How is it that he can talk? I'm struggling for breath as it is, let alone that I can talk.  
"Wanda, how are you feeling?"  
What?  
"I'm fine. What are you doing?"  
Ian turns off the shower and wraps a towel around his waist. Then he hands me one, I automatically take it from him.  
I'm really confused now. What is he doing?  
"I think we need to talk first."  
"What? Why?"  
"Wanda," he presses me, "Are you sure that you're fine? It's been just two months."  
It clicks, I know what he's talking about. Just two months, he says. It has been two months. Two  _long_ months. And in those two months, he barely touched me. Sure, we kissed, we cuddled, but he never took it further than that.   
"Ian, really, I'm fine."  
"But -" I cut him off by kissing him, dropping my towel.  
"Ian, believe me. I'm fine."   
He looks into my eyes for a very long time. Then he leans in for another kiss, lifting me up and carrying me out of the bathroom.


	10. Good talks

On the last night before returning home, Melanie and Jared join us in our hotel room. As soon as Jamie goes to take a shower, Jared interrupts the game of cards Mel and I are playing.   
"We won't be in our room tonight. So if anything happens and you need to leave, just go. Take the van. We'll get the jeep later."  
"What do you mean you won't be in your room?" Ian doesn't like this, "Does this have something to do with all the trips the two of you have been going on?"  
"Yes," Melanie admits, "But we can't tell you anything about it."  
Her comment causes a pinch of hurt in my stomach.   
"Don't you trust us?" Ian asks.  
"We do. It's just that the lesser people know about this, the better it is. It has to do with the other humans. We do trust you, both of you. But there is a risk involved here. I'm sorry, we can't tell you."  
"We just wanted you to know in case you'd come looking for us," Jared adds, "Don't worry though. I doubt anything will happen. If everything goes according to plan, we will just be back in the morning."  
"Don't tell Jamie though," Melanie warns as we hear the shower tap being turned off, "I don't want him to worry about this."  
"Leave at eight in the morning," Jared orders, "Whether we're here or not. It will draw attention if you stay longer."  
Instead of addressing Ian, Jared looks towards me, waiting for me to agree. I don't like this one bit, I don't want to split up.   
"You just make sure you're back here in the morning so we don't have to leave you."   
As Jamie opens the bathroom door, Melanie and Jared wish us goodnight and leave us. I'm not good at pretending to be okay when I'm worried, I'm sure Jamie will catch my mood soon.  
Ian saves me from further conversation by claiming he wants to watch a movie. I curl up next to him as he pops a bag of potato chips and starts making fun of the movie with Jamie. Their voices help me drift off to sleep.  
  
"Wake up sweetheart, it's half past seven."  
Opening my eyes, Ian's face is closer than expected. He kisses me deeply, pulling me even closer to him. Leaving this bed is not a priority to me right now.   
Unfortunately Ian is more level-headed at the moment. He backs up, chuckling as a disapproving sound leaves my lips.   
"We really need to leave, the people in the caves are waiting for fresh food."  
"I know," I sigh, "Let's go wake up Jamie and get Jared and Mel."  
Just like after the first night of our raid, a knock on the door wakes Jamie for us.   
Ian quickly pulls on his pants and opens the door. As Jared and Mel wait, Jamie quickly gets dressed too.   
"Aren't you getting up Wanda?" Jared questions.   
Jamie is finished, so Ian opens the door.   
"We'll see you guys at the parking lot," Ian gestures them out.   
Jamie's already moving, but Jared looks stunned.   
"Get out, guys," Ian says, "Wanda needs to get dressed."  
I never would have asked for it myself, but Ian knows me so well. When Jamie shares a room with us, I'm not bothered by that. I don't mind walking around in my underwear and t-shirt. But Jared. . . No, I don't want to get out of this bed with him still in the room.   
  
Ian pulls me close to him in the car.   
"Last trip for this raid, then back to home."  
"Yes," I smile, "Home."   
It truly is my home now. I can't imagine living anywhere else.  
  
"Ready for your last shopping trip Wanda?"  
Jared surprises me, he rarely joins me into the stores. He always says he's more comfortable being on the look out.   
"I'm bored of sitting around all day," he winks at me.   
Jared takes my hand as we walk into the store. It's the easiest way to get privacy; appearing to be a couple.   
"What do you want?" I ask Jared.  
"What do you mean?"  
"You only ever come into stores with me when you want to get something for yourself. And then you hide the item at the bottom of the bags. So what is it you want this time?"  
Jared's face goes from looking surprised to realizing he's caught out. He laughs out loud, not something he usually does.   
"I didn't know you had figured that out, you never seemed to."  
I shrug, "I was just happy that you took some things for yourself. You never ask for anything for yourself. I just want to see you happy Jared."  
An uncomfortable silence falls between us. It can still lead to awkward situations, talking about the feelings I inherited from being in Melanie's body. I still love Jared. It has become more like a sister-brother-love, but those feelings of a deeper love are still with me as well. It doesn't confuse me, but it's there. I know that Jared still has lingering feelings to. He is the practical one, if something needs to be done, it get's done. But when it comes to me, he can turn almost as protective as Ian.  
  
"I didn't join because I want to get something for myself," Jared flashes me a crooked smile, "I just wanted to talk to you. I can never get you alone in the caves. I know that you talk to Mel and I know that Ian takes excellent care of you. But I just wanted to make sure that you're alright after everything that happened. I figured that maybe you'd like to talk to someone who hasn't shared your mind, who knows a lot of your thoughts before you speak them aloud. And someone who isn't your boyfriend. Kind of like an outsider."  
"You're hardly an outsider, Jared," I mutter.  
"I know, but I still thought I'd offer."   
I'm touched by what he's saying. We all struggled after I woke up in this new body. But I could talk about that with Ian and Mel. I never discussed it with Jared, this love I still feel for him, yet is so different from being  _in love_ with him. And Jared usually just treats me like a friend. Not distant, but not like close friends either. Underneath the words that he is speaking now, he is telling me that he truly cares.  
"Thank you Jared. It was hard, it still is at times, especially when I look at Jodi. But I'm really alright."  
"Just know that you can always come talk to me as well."  
I return the gentle squeeze he gives my hand.   
"I do know that, thank you."  
We've stopped walking, we're standing still in the middle of an aisle. This is not normal Soul behavior, we're going to draw attention to ourselves if we aren't careful.   
"Let's get this shopping over with." 


	11. Discussing

"Since no one will let either of us do anything, let's wash up."  
Jodi is six months pregnant now, everyone keeps taking the work out of her hands, like they do to me. The more her pregnancy is showing, the less people will let her help out.  
It's extremely hot in the caves because of the Summer heat. We're all sweating even when we're just standing still.   
"How are you feeling today, Jodi?"  
I smile at her as I wipe the kitchen counter clean.   
"Oh just peachy," she grumbles, "No one will let me help out anymore. Jeb keeps on saying that everyone needs to 'earn their keep'. Well, I ain't earning it."  
"How is it that when no one let's me do anything, you agree with them, but now that it's about you, you complain?"  
I meant it as a tease, but her face turns perplexed.  
"You are absolutely right!" she exclaims, "I will lobby for you now from now on, so that you can do whatever you want."  
She has a sarcastic ring to her voice, but I know that she's trying to make me laugh.   
  
We walk into the bathing cave and slide into the water. Because of the darkness of this room I'm perfectly comfortable being here with another woman.   
The water is warm, but it's slightly cooler than the hot air surrounding us. A sigh of relief escapes me.   
"That does feel good, doesn't it?" Jodi practically moans at the relative coolness.  
We have gotten close in the last few months. When we got back from the raid and I handed her the maternity clothes, she hugged me in thanks. I froze, causing her to immediately pull back and apologize.  
After that the two of us talked a lot.   
Every time when our men would be doing the hard work, we'd chat. We spoke a lot about the time when Sunny was in her body. And how strange it was for Jodi to have her body back again.   
One day she even addressed the situation about her pregnancy and my miscarriage. I didn't feel fully comfortable on the subject, but at the same time I was glad that she brought it up. It cleared the air.   
Ian seems to be happy that I'm getting close to Jodi, but he still can't be around Kyle.   
  
 _"Let's wipe down these tables and make ourselves useful before someone else comes and does it."_  
 _I usually do this on my own, it's one of the things everyone will still let me do. But since no one will allow Jodi to do anything anymore either, she has gotten into the habit of helping me out with the few tasks I still have._  
 _"Uhmpf," Jodi sits down and holds her belly with two hands. I quickly rush over to her._  
 _"Are you okay? Are you in pain? Do I need to get you anything?"_  
 _"I'm fine," she assures me, "The baby is just kicking. Do you want to feel it?"_  
 _I hesitate, it seems quite intimate, touching her belly. But I am curious, so I sit down next to her and let her guide my hand to a spot on her belly._  
 _"There! Can you feel it?"_  
 _I feel her belly moving and I'm in awe._  
  
 _"Is the baby kicking again Jodes?"_  
 _"Yes, come here," Jodi invites Kyle over._  
 _Kyle places his hand on Jodi's belly, right next to mine. As the baby kicks again, we both feel it and Kyle laughs out loud, sharing the joyous moment with me._  
 _"It really is a wonder, Kyle," I tell him._  
 _Jodi is distracted, looking away from us. Following her gaze, I catch a glimpse of Ian, turning away from the kitchen doorway.  
  
"Ian!" Not paying attention to Kyle and Jodi, I get up and follow him.   
"Ian, wait!" He stops in the middle of the tunnel and turns around.  
"I don't know how you do it Wanda! How can you just sit there and smile with him? Talk chit-chat with him about pregnancies and babies. You are _too _good for this world. You just forgive and forget and move on. I can't see how you can do it."  
"Ian. . ." I stretch out my hand to him, but he won't take it, so I just let it fall again, "I felt a lot of anger as well. I didn't just forgive him. But it wasn't his fault. It was because of him, but not his fault. I can't keep feeling mad."  
"Because you are too good," he repeats, "Because you always want to see the best in people."  
"Because it's who I am, Ian!" I counter, "You know that. All the times that Jared hurt me while I was in Melanie's body, I forgave him. I forgave you for trying to - "   
"That's because I didn't know any better!" he snaps, guessing what I am about to say.   
"Kyle didn't know either," I whisper.   
In the silence that follows, I reach my hand out to Ian again. This time he takes it, pulling me in for a hug.  
  
_After that Ian seemed to be more relaxed around Kyle. He still won't talk to him, but he also doesn't get up and leaves every time they're close.   
I pull my thoughts away from the memories as Jodie speaks.  
"I'd really rather not come out of this water, but we have to right?"  
"I'm afraid so. I guess it's about time to get started on preparing dinner."  
"Let's bring around water first."  
Today everyone is working on the fields. It's physically the hardest job in the caves and also the most necessary. We can't survive on raids alone, it would be too suspicious if I got the amounts of food needed for that at the stores.   
With the rains coming soon, Jeb wants to have everything harvested before it starts pouring down.   
We don't really need to bring everyone water, but we want to. It's just an excuse to see our men. Human emotions are so special. Even after almost a full year in this body, I still get butterflies in my stomach from just thinking about Ian.   
There's excited chatter flowing out to us from the kitchen. Are we late? I didn't think we had been in the bathing cave for that long. Jodi has a puzzled expression on her face too.  
  
"We're done Wanda!", Jamie happily beams at me. "The fields are empty again! And we managed to get it all done before the rains started!"  
People hardly complain about it, they all know it has to be done, but everyone is relieved that the harvesting processed is finished.   
Jared walks into the kitchen, carrying two boxes. Kyle opens them and starts handing out snacks.  
"Ian, catch!" He throws Ian a bag.   
"Thanks, Kyle," Ian opens the bag and moves past Kyle.   
I notice that Kyle wavers a bit, but he doesn't want to make a big deal out of it. He turns around, handing out more bags of potato chips.   
Ian shrugs at my pointed look, so I don't say anything. It makes me happy that he said something to Kyle though, I really hope they will be okay.   
  
Melanie and Jared join us.   
"How about the four of us go to the game room?"  
I laugh, "You want me to participate in a game? I can't even run for two minutes straight, let alone play soccer against the lot of you."  
"Which is exactly why I'm suggesting it. You've been with us for almost a year in that body Wanda. It's time that you toughen up."  
Ian hisses, but Jared doesn't even flinch. It's clear to me that this is something that has already been discussed between them.  
"He is right," Mel says, "I'm not saying or thinking that you should become a fighter. You wouldn't fight even if you physically could. But you are still you in that body. And I know that you get frustrated every time you can't lift something up. Or when you can't keep up with Jamie when he's running. We thought it would be good to get you into shape."  
Mel looks at Ian as he makes another hissing sound.  
"Just into shape Ian, nothing over the top."  
"I don't like it," Ian declares.  
"I disagree," I tell him.  
"Why would you need it?" he argues with me, "You're a Soul, there's no  _need_ to run. Because of being a Soul, you're the only one here who can get us the supplies we need. So there's no  _need_ for you to do physical work in here. No one minds that you don't."  
"I mind," I start, but he talks over me.  
"Like Mel said, you wouldn't fight even if you knew how to. So there's no  _need_ for you to be stronger than you are now."  
I knew Ian would react this way, so I never pressed the matter. But with Mel and Jared suggesting it, I feel confident in expressing my feelings.  
"I need it. In Melanie's body I felt free. I could do whatever I wanted to. I had endurance. I had muscles, strong muscles. If not for any other reason, I want to be stronger in this body so that I can feel more confident in myself. I feel very loved and appreciated in this body. But I feel weak, too."  
Ian's face hardens. I feel bad for my outburst.   
This is why I didn't press the subject before, I don't want him to feel bad for me. I don't want him to feel bad about me.   
Next to me, Jared is nodding. But I don't look at him, I look at Ian, who looks at me.  
  
"Okay."


	12. New Souls

"Ugh."   
My face pulls into a grimace as I let myself fall on our bed. Ian sees it and his face scrunches up too. I just finished working out with Mel in the game room. She and Jared have been exercising with me for four weeks now. Sometimes one of them, other times both of them together. Every evening after a training, all I want to do is go to bed and sleep. I'm so tired.  
Ian's shadow falls over my eyes as he looks down at me.  
"I really wish you'd stop this training."  
"You promised you were okay with this," I plead.  
"I just hate seeing you in pain."  
"I'm not in pain, really," I object, "I'm just sore. It's like all of my muscles are tense, all the time"  
"I think I can help with that." Ian lies down next to me and nibbles at my ear, making me giggle.  
"That was not the reaction I was going for Wanderer."  
He pulls me towards him to kiss me. My hands go up to his hair, wanting to be as close to him as possible. He's right, I'm already starting to feel more relaxed.   
One of his hands is trailing it's way up and down my leg, whilst the other is massaging my back. The tension in my muscles melts away under his touch.   
Ian draws away, but I pull him back.   
"Aren't you tired?" he insists.  
"Be quiet," I smirk, "Kiss me."  
  
"Hungry?"   
I don't have to answer him, my stomach growls before I can say a word.  
"What time is it? I feel like I've been asleep for a very long time."  
I'm still groggy when I get up and sort through my clothes.  
"You have. It's almost lunch time, we skipped breakfast."  
"We what? You skipped breakfast? Why did you let me sleep?"  
"I didn't want to wake you up, clearly you needed the sleep."  
At least I wasn't on breakfast or lunch duty today.   
"You shouldn't be hungry on my behalf, Ian."  
"I'm not that hungry," he insists, "It was more satisfying watching you sleep. Every time I move, you wake up."  
  
I have to admit, my body feels a little less sore after sleeping this long. We enter a very busy kitchen, it seems like literally everyone is there. And there are some heated conversations going on.   
We pause in the doorway and watch the commotion. The thick of it is centered at the counter. Melanie and Jared are standing there, with three people, one of them I vaguely recognize.   
Ian recognizes him as well and stiffens beside me.   
"What's going on here?" Ian demands.   
Mel, Jared and the three other with them all turn around. Ian was holding my hand, but now I use both of my hands to hold onto his arms as my knees start to feel weak.   
Next to Melanie is Burns. And two other, new Souls are with them. What are they doing here? Why are they here? And how could Mel and Jared bring them here? Inside the caves?   
"Okay, show's over everyone," Jeb commands the room, "Go find something to occupy yourselves with."  
Jeb makes his way through the pack of people, "Let's go!" he bellows.   
No one protests, but it still takes some time for the crowd to clear. Ian doesn't turn around though, but heads straight to the group at the counter.  
"O'Shea -" Jeb starts, but Ian interrupts him.  
"We skipped breakfast and we need to eat. You're standing in front of the counter. Just let me get some food for us."  
As my thoughts are still whirling, Ian grabs us two plates and heads out into the tunnel, pulling me with him. He has both plates on one hand and I realize I'm still holding onto his arm. I abruptly let go.  
  
"Let me carry my own plate Ian."  
"I'm fine with it."  
"Ian. . ."  
He budges and hands me one of the plates. It takes me a while to catch on that we're not heading to our room or the plaza, he's taking me to an exit.   
"Where are we going?"  
"Out."  
"Why?"  
"I don't want you anywhere near them."  
I take that 'them' to be the Souls.  
"The fact that Melanie and Jared brought them here, that must mean they're on our side. They must have a plan."  
Ian looks angry.  
"I'm sure they have a plan," he growls, "Just as I'm sure that that plan will have something to do with you. And I don't. Like. It."  
  
Ian places us out of sight, if someone will come outside, they won't immediately spot us.   
"You're jumping to conclusions. We don't know what this is about yet."  
"Oh come on Wanda! They bring in three Souls. No humans. Just Souls. What else am I supposed to think? Of course they want something from you. Whatever it is, you're going to say no."  
"If I can help with something. . ."  
"No! Not even if you can help. You can't endanger yourself. I can't stand even to think about it. You already do enough by going on raids."  
I know that if my help is needed, I will provide it. And he knows it too. But instead of arguing with him, I suggest we go find out what's going on first.  
  
"Why are you here? What do you want?" Ian demands it without introduction.  
Instead of one of the Souls answering, Mel speaks.  
"Russel's cell got caught."  
I can see the anger rolling off of Ian's shoulders at this unexpected and most unwelcome statement.  
"Come again?"  
This time Jared replies.  
"Russel's cell of humans got caught. Burns and Nick were out with some of them for a raid when they got caught. Burns tried to talk the Souls out of taking the humans, but they didn't listen. Only one of them was sympathetic and she helped Nick and Burns get away. But they couldn't save the humans. Russel's cell was only seven people and three of them got caught during the raid.   
Nick went to the location where they were staying and got the other four people. He and Burns took all of them to our safe spot, where we were supposed to have a meeting tonight. Knowing their location is no longer safe, Mel and I saw no other option than taking all of them with us."  
"Then where are they?"  
"We left them in one of the outer caves to get some rest. Burns and Nick came along to figure out what to do next."  
"But who is this?" Ian points to the third Soul.   
"This is Sky," Nick answers, "She saved Burns and me last night."  
Ian looks as perplex as I feel with all of this information. I try to wrap my head around of it and suddenly understand something.  
  
"This is what the two of you have been doing every time you left the caves! You were having meetings."  
"Yes."  
An acknowledgement is all the response I get. The silence in the air is thick until Jeb cuts through it.   
"We haven't got any spare rooms here either. But the rains will come soon, the new group will just have to join us in the game room."  
"What do we do after the rains though?" Ian wonders, "Seven more people? We're crammed already."  
Jeb's eyes flash to Mel and Jared for a second.  
"We'll figure that out when it comes to it. The rains will last for three months at least, plenty of time. Let's go," he tells the three Souls, "I'll show you around."  
I feel dismissed. The indignant look on Ian's face tells me he feels the same.   
After Jeb and the Souls leave, none of us speak at first.  
"We couldn't tell you," Jared offers, "The less people knew about the meetings, the better. It was just Nate, Russel and Burns. Gail and Max got their information from them. All of us decided that yes, we trust each other, but it's better to know as little details about each other's groups as possible. We never even knew where their cell was located. When we took all of them here, we blindfolded them way ahead. They have no idea where they are, except for the obvious fact that they're in a cave."  
Ian nods at him. I don't know what to say either. In a way I feel hurt, I feel like they didn't trust us. But I understand that they didn't.


	13. Stories

After dinner everyone gathers around in the kitchen. This is the place where I used to tell stories. But now that I've been staying here for almost two years, people gradually lost interest. After a while there wasn't any new information I could give them anymore, I ran out of stories. But now there are three new Souls. And everyone wants to hear what they have to say.  
The four new humans sit on the outer end of the kitchen. Jamie is sitting with them, trying to make them comfortable. Ian pulls himself up to a table and wraps his arms around me as I position myself in front of him.   
  
Jeb starts off the conversation.  
"So, we all know about Wanda here," Sky's eyes rest on me, "What we don't know is how you guys came to switch sides."  
Burns is the first one who explains.  
"My name is Burns Living Flowers, but everyone just calls me Burns. I was placed into this body three years ago.   
I developed a love for hiking and forest walks, because this body loved doing that. One day I was walking in the forest and found myself in a storm. As a Soul, I didn't know what to. The body didn't have any memories of being stuck in storms either."  
Every time Burns makes the difference between himself and 'the body' clear, people shift uncomfortably. He either doesn't notice or pretends not to notice.  
"I was all alone in the forest, the storm disoriented me. I kept on walking, trying to find a way out. I heard a loud crack and turned to see a tree falling towards me. It would've hit me if Nate hadn't shoved me out of the way. He saved my life."  
  
"He saved a Soul?" "Why would he do that?"   
Neither of those questions is directed at Burns, but he replies to them anyway.  
"As I said, I was alone in the forest. I had wandered off so far, that Nate had assumed I was human. Especially because Souls don't usually wander of on their own, we tend to stick together in groups or couples.  
Nate and I became friends and I started seeing things from the human's side. I started helping him by getting him supplies. At first I stayed in the house I lived in, but eventually I decided to go and live with Nate's cell."  
  
"Was there anyone with you in that body?" Doc asks the question everyone wonders about every time they encounter a new Soul.  
"No, there was no one here. I've been alone in this body since I arrived."  
After a short silence, Nick takes his turn.  
  
"My Soul name is Ice Writer, but I've decided to use the name that my host had, Nick. When I was placed in this body, Nick was still here. After a few weeks of living with the Souls, all the time hearing Nick's thoughts and seeing Nick's memories, I decided I wanted to help the humans. I actively tried to track down human survivors."  
It must have been hard for him not to let his Comforter - or anyone else - notice that Nick was still in there with him, talking with him.  
"I moved around the country a lot," Nick continues, "Trying to find human survivors. And then one evening I ran into Russell. It took me some time to convince me that I was on his side. But we've been working together ever since that day. I have been staying in the Soul society. Of course I can't return to my house now that we got caught. They now know that I am on the human's side."  
  
A murmur of sound ripples through the kitchen. People look from me to Nick, some look angry. Ian pulls me even closer to him.   
"Nick is still in there with you?" Kyle asks.  
"Yes, we became friends and we are working together."  
"Why don't you leave?"  
The question confuses Nick and Burns, but Sky's head snaps to look in my direction. Then she looks at Melanie.  
"Kyle. . ." Ian tries to warn him, but there is no stopping the words that come out next.  
"Why don't you just leave that body? If you are on the human's side, don't you agree that Nick should get his body back?"  
Several people agree with Kyle.   
"Yeah, get out."  
"Go to another planet."  
"Nick deserves his life back."  
"It's what Wanda did."  
Sky gasps and silence hits the room.   
  
"What did you do?"   
Sky is walking towards me, clearly angry. Ian is to his feet before I realize it, shoving me behind him. Within seconds, Melanie, Jared, Jamie and Kyle have all joined him.   
"How did you do it?" Sky demands to know, "How did you jump hosts? Did you go to a Healer? Or did these humans find out how to extract Souls?"  
It's clear that she can't imagine that the humans found out how to do it.   
I look her straight in the eyes as I confess: "I showed them how to extract Souls from the hosts."  
Burns looks completely surprised. Nick looks like he's expecting to be grabbed any moment now, to extract the Soul from his body. But Sky isn't afraid, nor does she look surprised. She's really, really, mad at me.  
"How could you do that! How could you tell them!"  
Jeb's voice cuts through the tension filled room.  
"Everyone sit down. First of all," he addresses Nick and Burns, "I can promise you that nothing will happen to you. My house, my rules. Second, this part of the kitchen is getting crowded. Sit down, so Wanda can explain."  
He gently but firmly takes hold of Sky's arm and guides her back to the other two Souls.   
Kyle, looks at Ian. After a small nod, he returns to Jodi. Jamie, Jared and Melanie aren't leaving my side, they sit down at the table behind us. I sigh to myself and take a chair. Ian stands behind me, placing his hand on my shoulder. I place one of my hands over his as I start talking.   
  
"When I got to Earth, I was placed in Melanie's body. The Seekers hoped that Melanie knew of more human survivors and that I would be able to lead them to the humans. Melanie was still in the body and she protected her memories very well. All I found out from her memories was that there were other humans. But she didn't let anything slip about where they could be. After some time, the Seeker assigned to me became impatient, as I started to feel more and more sympathy for Melanie. I wanted to go visit my Healer, but on the way there, Melanie convinced me to come to the caves.   
At first the Souls searched for me, but eventually they gave up. Except for the Seeker.   
The longer I lived here, the more it became clear that I could help. I could go out to stores and get supplies, without the people here having to put themselves in danger for it. One day when I was out getting supplies, the Seeker killed one of the humans staying here. They caught her and brought her back here. The humans wanted to kill her, they didn't know they could simply extract the Soul. I didn't want them to kill her, so I showed them to remove the Soul from the host.   
My most important condition was that they wouldn't kill Souls, they would be sent off to other planets, far away. Everyone agreed to this condition.  
And I trust them. I trust the people here with my life. Just like they trust me with their lives, every time I go out to get supplies.   
After we took the Seeker out and sent her away, I knew I had to leave Melanie's body. She deserved her life back. She deserved to be back with Jared and Jamie. So I went to Doc and asked him to extract me from Melanie's body."  
I don't tell them that I had intended on dying. I know Ian still feels hurt over it, I don't want to say it out loud, even though I feel from the pressure of his hand that he's thinking about it.   
"After Doc extracted me, my friends refused to let me go to another planet. So they found me another host. They found this body and extracted the Soul, then tried and tried if someone would wake up. But no one did. In order to save the body, a Soul had to be inserted. So they put me in. My friends didn't want me to leave and without me the body would die, so I stayed."  
  
A small group of people is left in the kitchen, almost everyone left, uninterested in a story they had been present for themselves.   
"So," Jeb says, "All that's left is Sky's story. Who are you? Where do you come from and why did you side with us humans?"  
"I didn't," she claims, "I sided with Burns and Nick. I was part of the group who encountered the humans. When I saw that Nick and Burns were about to be captured as well, I couldn't stand that idea. I wanted to help them. So I told the other Souls that I would escort them. The others were too busy with the humans, trying to get them to calm down. They just let the three of us walk off. When we were away from the immediate danger, they asked me to come with them. And I am curious. I wanted to understand them. So I decided to follow them."  
It isn't an answer I was expecting, or hoping for. She isn't truly on our side, not sure yet what she wants to do.  
"That's enough story telling for one evening," Jeb groans as he stands up, "Everyone earns their keep around here, when I get up, everyone gets up. We can't give you your own rooms, but we will expect you to help out with the chores. I asked someone to take some mattresses and blankets to the game room, I'm afraid we're all out of pillows. Just come here for breakfast in the morning and I'll assign you some tasks for the day."  
  
The humans and the Souls leave the room with Jeb and Doc.   
Jodi seems tired, she leaning into Kyle. He stands up and she wants to follow, but he doesn't let her, instead lifting her into his arms. Jodi starts to laugh and protest, but Kyle isn't having it. Just like Ian won't let me strain myself, Kyle won't let Jodi do that either. At moments like this, it's very clear that Ian and Kyle are brothers.   
I move to stand, but Jared's voice keeps me in my seat.  
"So, what do you think?"  
The question is directed to Ian.   
"I don't know what to think about Sky," he replies.   
"I noticed something off about her too," Melanie says, "She kept looking at me and Wanda as if she  _knew_. Even before Wanda told her story."  
It's not like me to be suspicious of others, especially not Souls, but I'm glad Melanie says it. It had made me uncomfortable.  
"We'll just have to keep a close eye at her then."  
Jared looks at me as he says this, I assume he intends it to be a comfort to me.


	14. Strangers in the caves

"I'll be working at the mirrors today if you need me."  
Ian kisses me and takes off with Kyle, leaving me and Jodi behind. He still isn't completely comfortable around Kyle. They don't talk like they used to, but they're polite to each other. I'm glad Ian isn't ignoring Kyle anymore. It may be going painfully slow, but at least there's progress. It's a relief that Kyle at least seems to understand that he needs to give Ian his space and that he shouldn't push Ian. I think it's mostly Jodi's influence that keeps Kyle from rushing.   
Two of the new human girls enter the room, unsure of where to go.  
Jodi happily waves them over: "Come sit with us!"  
"No chores for you yet?" Jodi asks, as they pull up two chairs.  
"Not yet, we're supposed to help with lunch later. We didn't want to stay in the plaza, so we decided to come here."  
I think they prefer the relative smallness of the kitchen over the big plaza. Being new isn't easy.   
  
"I'm Jodi. And you know Wanda from last night. We would like to hear your stories, if you want to share. I'm very curious, there isn't much going on in these caves."  
The girls both shrug. They look very much alike. Not only by their appearance, but also their posture, the look in their eyes.   
"What are your names? Where did you stay?" Jodi tries to coax them into talking.   
"This is my sister Carin," one of the girls says, "And my name is Zoey.  
As you know, we were with Russell's cell. We were located in the woods, living in tents, and partially underground. Nick lived in a house near the woods, he would warn us whenever Souls would come too close. Two times, we all hid in his attic."  
"How long have you been staying there?"  
"We've been with Russell from the beginning, he is our uncle. First we travelled around a lot, but two years ago we settled in the woods. Before that, Russell didn't think saying in one place was safe. But now we had Nick, so he thought it would work out."  
"Who are the other two with you?"   
They aren't here, they either did get assigned a task, or they had decided to stay in the game room.   
"Cindy and Carlos," Zoey replies, "They're a couple. Carlos was with Nate's group, but he decided to come live with us to be with Cindy."  
"Weren't you scared in the woods?"   
I think I'd be. The caves are underground, we are completely hidden from direct view. But tents . . . I don't think I'd like the openness of it.   
Carin shrugs, "Not really, we were used to it. Yes, it was dangerous, but where isn't it dangerous for humans these days?"  
  
People start piling into the kitchen, ready for lunch.  
I don't see Ian or Kyle yet, so I want to join Melanie and Jared with the three new Souls, but Melanie catches my eye and lightly shakes her head at me.   
Her refusal to let me join them confuses me. I had really wanted to talk to the other Souls. I move towards the counter to collect some sandwiches for Ian and myself. The conversation at Melanie's table seems to get heated, Jeb notices too, he's already approaching them.   
"You can't go without me! You can't leave me behind here!"  
Sky abruptly gets up from her chair. I was trying to pretend that I wasn't looking at them, but now I no longer have to hide my interest. Everyone in the room is looking their way. Burns stands up as well, placing a hand on her arm, saying something that I can't hear from where I am. She shakes him off and stalks out of the room. Jared and Burns follow after her.  
They pass Ian and Kyle at the doorway. Both men look alarmed at the commotion and immediately locate their girls.   
"Why was Sky running out?"  
"I don't know, let's go ask Mel." I hand Ian a plate and we join Mel, Nick and Jeb at their table.   
"What happened?" I ask, looking at all three of them.  
"We're going to have to go back out, Jared and I," Mel starts, "Nick and Burns have to come with us, but we can't take Sky. We just don't know yet if we can trust her."  
Nick looks mad at Mel's comment, but I understand her. It took everyone in the caves a long time before they trusted me. And Nick and Burns had similar experiences with Nate and Russell. Besides, Sky admitted that she doesn't even know yet if she is on our side.   
"We're leaving tonight," Mel says, "Nick and Burns were supposed to be . . . somewhere, last night. Jared and I will just drop them off, we'll be back before morning."  
  
Ian turns his attention to Nick.   
"Do you mind if I ask you some questions?"  
Nick looks apprehensive, but agrees; "If I can answer, I will."  
"Nick is still in there with you."   
It isn't a question, but Ian waits for a response anyway. Jeb shifts into the seat next to me, this interests him.  
"Yes." Nick agrees.  
"Why?" Ian asks.  
"Why he's still in here? I don't know, some humans -"  
"No, sorry, that's not what I meant," Ian smiles, "I meant; why don't you let yourself be extracted?"  
Nick looks really uncomfortable now, Ian adds in a low tone: "I'm not accusing you, I'm genuinely wondering."  
  
"Well, just like you humans don't trust all Souls, I didn't know if I could trust the humans with information like that. I don't mean Russell or anyone else from our group, they're my friends, I trust them. But other people. If Russell knew, and extracted Souls, and then shared the information with other people. . . Bad people who don't mean well could find out how to do it as well."  
I understand this fear, I had set my terms before showing Doc how to it myself.  
"Secondly, I realized that if I left, the human group would have one less person on their side to help them. Burns was all alone before he met me, he was relieved to have someone helping him. Also, I just considered the option of taking another body last night. I hadn't considered it, because it would feel like the same thing. Leaving Nick's body and then just go into another host? Taking another human's life? I wouldn't want it. Nick and I agreed that one day I would leave. If, one day it's safe enough and I as a Soul am no longer needed for survival, then I will leave. Most important of all, Nick agrees. He doesn't want me to leave. He likes the way we work together, two minds, but still working as one."  
Melanie had liked it too, in the end, as had I. I could do things that she couldn't and she wanted me to stay in her body. But I couldn't any longer, it felt too selfish.  
"Does Nick have any family?"  
"No, I'm sorry to say. He has no family, no love, no ties so to speak. He doesn't feel it's a big sacrifice for him that I stay."  
"But what if we  _did_ find a body like Wanda's? A body where there's no one inside, it could truly be yours alone."  
Nick shakes his head.  
"I don't want another body. When I leave Nick's body, I want to be sent off to another planet."  
"That's what Wanda said," Melanie mumbles, Ian's hand slightly tenses on mine.   
Do they think Nick is lying like I tried to?   
Now that Nick has finished speaking, I notice that the entire kitchen has fallen quiet. Everyone was listening to our conversation.   
"Thank you Nick," Ian says, "I think we all understand better now."  
Ian did this on purpose. Not everyone was in the kitchen, but stories spread fast in these caves. He wanted everyone to hear and understand.   
  
I rise from my seat to return our plates to the counter. But before I can move, Ian takes hold of my wrist.   
"Don't leave without kissing me, Wanderer."   
His eyes are so full of love, I feel my heart overflowing. After kissing him, I head for the counter, intending to do the dishes.   
But as soon as I have the plates stacked, Trudy takes them from me.   
"Let me take care of those, Wanda."  
Everyone seems to think that even carrying dishes is too heavy a task for me. An idea comes to me.  
"Here you go Trudy," I say, smiling at her surprised expression, she was expecting me to object. "But can I prepare dinner? I want to bake pizza's."  
Pizza isn't on the schedule for tonight, but I'm certain no one will mind. Trudy agrees.  
"For pizza? You can most definitely cook!"  
  
The room is actually empty, which is a rarity for the kitchen. I'm only ever alone when I'm in our room and even then Ian usually shows up within minutes.   
Being that the kitchen is the center of all activity in the caves, I'm sure I won't be alone for long now either.   
I start kneading the dough in the silence. I'll have to fill up four big plates so that everyone can have a piece of pizza. But the pizza alone won't be enough, I'll have to see if we have lettuce left for a salad. Or bread and soup. When I have the second plate filled up with dough, Jared comes walking in, his face lights up when he sees me.   
"Pizza?"  
Before I can answer he cracks a laugh.   
"What's so funny?" I wonder.  
"You have some dough on your cheek. Here."   
Jared lifts up his hand, it hovers a bit, but then he wipes the dough from my cheek. He is nice enough to ignore the redness that I know must be visible on both my cheeks now.   
"Thank you," I croak.   
  
"Do you need some help with that?" Jared breaks the uncomfortable silence that has fallen between us.  
"I can manage, thank you. I'm sure you have something better to do than kneading though."  
"I don't, actually. Jeb gave Mel and me the day off because we'll be out all night."  
"Okay, you take the last batch then."  
When there's no one else around, the vibe between Jared and me is always different. It's like the air is thicker. It's harder to focus on what I'm thinking or want to say. Usually, Jared lightens the mood, but today he's remaining silent.   
When I turn my face, I catch him looking at me. My breath catches and I immediately look away, feeling a blush creep up on my face.   
"What are we eating with these pizza's?"  
Jared finished kneading his batch sooner than I finished with mine. My smaller hands and weaker hands not keeping up with the pace he can keep. His words clear the air. I take a deep breath to steady myself.   
I know where my heart is, just as I definitely know where Jared's heart lies. It's just a strange, special connection. Ian and Melanie still catch themselves in similar moments like these as well. It can be confusing. Is confusing, at times. But we all know where we stand.   
"I was hoping there's still some lettuce left in the cooling area, could you go and check?"  
"Uhm . . . Are you almost done yet? We can go together?"  
"I'll be a while with this last batch. If you just go ahead and check, I'll be done by the time you return."  
"It's okay, I'll wait for you."  
"Jared, it's a five minute walk. If you just go no, it'll save time."  
"I'll wait," his stern tone gets my full attention.  
"Jared. . . ?" I question.  
"I'm not leaving you alone Wanda. We have strangers in the caves."  
"So that's why you're here," my voice sounds accusing, "You're on guard duty."  
Jared doesn't whisk it off or soften it like Jamie or even Jeb would. He's like Ian with this, owning up to it.   
"Yes I am. And I'm not leaving."   
The stubborn but cheery look on his face is way too familiar for me to even try and protest it. With my sigh I let him know that I don't agree, but he isn't fazed at all, just chuckles. 


	15. Understanding Sky

Jeb announces that he wants to play a game of soccer.   
"Since the rains will start soon, that'll be the place where we all will sleep. It will be a while before we can have a game again."  
Everyone is excited for the game, but the new humans and Souls look lost.   
"We play soccer regularly," I explain, "Usually everyone participates, we just divide everyone into two teams. If you don't want to participate, I'll be more than happy to sit and watch with you."  
Burns and Nick seem enthusiastic, but Sky has a hesitant look on her face.  
"Don't you want to play? We can sit over here if you want," I gesture.  
"It's fine, I'll join," she shrugs.  
"Wanda! You're on my team!" Jamie calls me over.  
I'm still not as fast as I'd like to be, but with the training I've been doing, I should be able to at least keep up for a bit.   
  
I was wrong.  
After two goals - and I honestly don't even know which team scored - I know that I have to stop.   
Ian runs over as I leave the field, but I wave him off. He shouldn't stop because of me. He understands my wave, smiles and blows me a kiss. My team won't miss me, that's for sure.   
Jodi pats on the empty spot next to her, inviting me to sit with her, but I mime that I'll be right back and head into the tunnel.  
I take my time for the walk, I'm still catching my breath. And the game will go on for a while, so there's no rush in getting these snacks. When I get to the storage caves, I start looking for the caramel chocolate bars I brought back from our last raid.   
I lift up the two boxes, but they are heavier than I expected them to be. I'm determined to get the chocolate bars to the game room though, I'll just have to consider it a form of working out.  
Hearing footsteps behind me, I assume it's one of the guys.  
  
"Good, you can help me carry these."  
"I'm sorry?"  
I quickly spin around.   
"Oh! Sky! I wasn't expecting you."  
"Are you expecting someone then?" she looks over her shoulder.  
"No. I wasn't expecting anyone really. I just assumed you were one of the guys. Normally when someone approaches me, it's one of them."  
Sky visibly relaxes.  
"Really? And why is that?" she inquires.  
"Over protectiveness." I smile as I hand her one of the boxes, "I was here to get snacks for everyone. Will you carry this one?"  
She takes the box and we head back, Sky's pace is slower than mine was when going here.   
"Wanderer?" she starts, "I have some questions. Some things are bothering me, but I think it might be personal. Do you mind if I ask?"  
Wanderer? I introduced myself as Wanda to all the newcomers. How does she know my name? I shake of the uneasiness, it's not unlikely that someone told her.   
"Of course," I agree, "Ask what you want."  
"Why? Why do you side with the humans? Why did you give them our most valuable information? Why would you allow yourself to be taken from your host?"  
"Well . . . The body I was in, Melanie's body, she has a very deep love. Love for Jamie, her brother, and Jared, her boyfriend. That love came through in her body. It touched me. And it made me love them as well, because of the love the body felt."  
"So you let yourself be influenced by your host?" the bend of her voice sounds disapproving.   
"Yes and no. The people she loved, I loved them as well because of the body. And then I started love them myself too, me, not the body. But I think I still would have become sympathetic of the humans either way. All of the emotions of this species are overwhelming. Maybe if I didn't have a resistant host, I wouldn't have considered it. But then I wouldn't have  _known._ And since I did know, this was the only path for me to choose."  
"And showing them how to extract us?"   
This is clearly bothering a lot, I wonder if she's afraid that she might get extracted.  
"Firstly, it saved the Seeker and her host. The only other option for the humans here was that she'd be killed, she had just killed one of them. I couldn't bear the thought of such a loss, for both of our species. But secondly, I knew I had to give Melanie her life back. Melanie didn't want me to do it, like Nick, she wanted me to stay and work with her. But she is in love with Jared and I'm in love with Ian. Apart from the fact that Melanie didn't like it, the body was torn as well, it wouldn't let me love two men at the same time."  
Sky breaths out loudly.   
"You were in love with that man already? And he was in love with you? You, the Soul? I assumed he was in love with your host, the host you are in now."  
"Ian loves me, the Soul, and I love him."  
  
"Can I ask you something too?"  
"Go ahead," Sky says.  
"Why did you help Burns and Nick? You said you don't know yet whether you're on the human's side. But then why not let Burns and Nick be taken?"  
"We were surrounding the two of them and the humans. And I heard them trying to save the humans, pleading the Seekers to let them go. I realized they would all be taken. I didn't want that for them. I honestly didn't consider the humans at the time, I didn't want the two Souls to be taken. I was shocked at what I heard them say, how they stood up for the humans. But I didn't want them to get hurt, so I took them away from there."  
"What about now? How do you feel about the humans now?"  
"I'm still glad I saved Burns and Nick, but I still don't know what to think about the humans. They seem so . . .  hostile towards me. Apparently they don't like Souls. Why should I be on their side when they treat me like that?"  
"That's not because you're a Soul, Sky."  
"What do you mean?"  
"I've been here for almost two years now. The people here know and love me, as I love them. The first evening you were here, you came at me quite strongly. The humans stick up for each other, and I'm one of them."  
"You truly are one of them . . ."   
Sky looks puzzled and lost in thought. We reach the game room again and step inside.  
  
Kyle is the first to spot me, the moment I walk in. He was near Jodi, but leaves the room through another exit.   
The game hasn't stopped, but I immediately notice that there are some people missing. Ian, Jared, Jamie and Melanie are all gone.   
Before I get the chance to wonder where they are, Kyle returns with Ian. As Ian shoots a look of disapproval at me and Sky, Kyle notices the boxes at my feet.  
"Hey, everyone, caramel chocolate bars!"   
As people start coming up to receive a chocolate bar, Ian pulls me away a bit, whispering in my ear.  
"You shouldn't leave like that on your own, we were worried."  
"Nothing to be worried about."  
"You don't know that, we have guests. Promise me you won't wander off on your own again."  
I smile at his use of my name as a verb, "It's who I am."  
The corners of his mouth twitch, but he teasingly scolds me, "That's not a promise."  
"If it makes you feel better, I promise."  
Jared and Melanie join us, Jared's eyes scan me over, checking for any injuries or discomfort. I smile to reassure him.   
  
Doc shows up at Jared's side.  
"I wasn't expecting you to leave again so soon, if I knew, I would've addressed this earlier. But, the last and only time we got Soul medicine, was for Jamie. We could use some more, I'm running out. I mean, we haven't had really bad incidents yet, but I've used it for cuts and burns, headaches, stuff like that. It just made life for everyone easier."  
"I'll just have to join Jared and Mel on this trip then."  
"No!" Ian objects, "You're not going to hurt yourself again to get medicine from a hospital."  
"Ian, it will be healed within minutes. And it will benefit everyone."  
"Oh come one! There is no need for you to hurt yourself, Wanda," Jared claims, annoyed, "You're overreacting as usual, Ian. We know what medicine we need. Wanda can just go in, pretend that the body has really bad headaches, or severe belly cramps. Then get the Soul to leave her for a minute and steal the medicine."  
Wow. Why didn't I think of that? I like that plan.   
"That is a good idea, Jared," I happily agree, "But I can't do that at night, that would be too suspicious, no Soul would go to a hospital in the evening unless it's an emergency."  
Jared dismisses the entire plan, "We can talk about it later, you can't come on this trip. We need to get Burns and Nick out and we can't have anyone knowing where we take them."  
"So blindfold me."  
I still feel that slight ping of hurt inside. I know it's not personal, but it just feels like he isn't trusting me.   
"No. We'll just have to make another trip when Mel and I get back."  
"You know we shouldn't wait," I argue, "Our last raid was very thorough, we got enough for months. And that was with reason. When the rain comes, we can't go out anymore."  
We won't be able to cover the car tracks then because it'll all be mud.   
"We'll just either have to take the risk or wait the rain out when it comes." Jared is not budging.   
"But what if someone gets seriously hurt when it's still raining?"  
"We'll have to figure it out then."  
"Just let Wanda and me come," Ian insists.  
"O'Shea, like I said, no one can know where we're taking Burns and Nick."  
"Would you let me finish, Howe? Take Wanda and me to a hotel. The two of us will wait until daytime. When we are there, you can bring Burns and Nick to wherever you want to take them. Wanda gets the medicine in the morning, you and Mel pick us up and we all go back. That way you'll only have to make one trip. And we won't know where you're taking Burns and Nick."  
Jared grinds his teeth.  
"If you have anything you want to take with you, we're leaving in an hour."


	16. Hospital Raid

"You ran and got the jeep?" I complain, "I can make the run."  
"I know you can, but they can't." Jared points to Burns and Nick, both blindfolded.  
"Oh. Yes. Of course. I'm sorry."  
Ian slides in the back next to Burns, pulling me on his lap.  
"Comfortable?"  
"More than comfortable," I state.  
Jared starts the jeep and we take off. I know I'm not that heavy, but I don't want Ian to be uncomfortable, so I wiggle a bit, trying to shift my weight. He moves his mouth to my ear.  
"If you keep doing that, we're going to have a problem. We're in a car full of people."  
My eyes widen with shock and he chuckles, causing Melanie to turn around questioningly. My cheeks are burning and Ian just shakes his head with silent laughter.  
"Get some rest, sweetheart," he suggests.  
It's past midnight, I am definitely not used to staying up this late. The Souls will be suspicious if I look tired when I go into the hospital, so I close my eyes and lean my head on Ian's shoulder.  
"How long will the drive be, Jared?" Ian asks.  
"We're taking you two hours out. It's another hospital than the last time, of course. Even though Wanda is in another body now, I don't want to risk going to the same one again."  
Overly cautious. But I agree.   
"Are Nick and Burns coming back with us?"  
"No," Burns replies instead of Jared, "We need to get some things ready."  
"Burns. . ." Nick warns.  
"I know, I'm not giving anything away."  
"Again, I'm so sorry about having to blindfold you guys," Melanie says, "As soon as we're far away enough, you can take them off."  
"It's okay, we understand."  
Of course they do, just like I did when I first left with Jared.   
  
"Wanda, sweetheart, wake up," Ian's soft voice wakes me, "You need to get us a room."  
I try to sit up, but I'm pinned down on Ian's lap, without much room to move.   
"What time is it?"  
"About three in the morning? Do you think you'll manage or do you want Burns to go with you?"  
"No," I decline, "That will look strange in the morning when he isn't here. I'll go book us a room."  
"Ian, there are two bags in the trunk, Wanda can use them for the medicine."  
  
I leave them all in the jeep and head for the main entrance. The receptionist looks surprised when she sees me.   
"Good evening, can I help you?"  
"Hello. My name is Rises to the Sun. I would like a room for two please."  
"You're out late," she says with an inquiring smile.   
"My partner and I thought we could keep on driving, but he fell asleep a while ago. When I felt my eyes falling, I realized it was better to stop for the night. I hadn't noticed that it was this late already."  
I'm still not a good liar, but it's still so easy to lie to Souls, they would never suspect a lie, so they believe me every time.  
"Yes, you do look tired," she agrees, "Well, I'm happy that you decided to stop here and not get into an accident."  
"As am I."  
I thank her as she hands me the key.  
"We serve breakfast between eight and ten in the mornings, I do hope you will join."  
  
By the jeep we say our goodbyes. I look at both the Souls.   
"Good luck and stay safe."  
"I'm sure we'll see again Wanda, maybe sooner than you think," Burns says as he shakes my hand.   
Both Jared and Nick look annoyed at this comment. Melanie has opened her door and leans out of her seat to hug me.   
"You stay safe too," I tell her, "I expect to see you here in the morning."  
"Of course we'll be here," she assures me, "Jared just told Ian we'll be here anywhere between seven and eight. Just keep checking the parking lot to see if the jeep's here."  
As soon as we enter the room, Ian lays down on the bed, not even bothering to undress.  
"You should take your clothes off."   
"Why? Do you have plans?" He wiggles his eyebrows at me.   
It looks so funny that I just burst out in laughter.  
"No."  
His face drops to exaggerated disappointment.  
"You shouldn't let those clothes get even more wrinkled than they already are from the long drive. We're going outside tomorrow, people will notice you in wrinkled clothes."  
"You're right," he sighs, "I'm just so tired."  
"Really?" I tease, "I don't feel that tired at all."  
"That's because you slept in the car."  
"Too bad that you're tired. . ." I undress and get into the bed next to him.   
"I don't think I'm  _that_ tired," Ian counters, cupping my face in his hands and kissing me.   
  
"Are they here yet?"  
It's nine in the morning and I'm starting to grow worried.   
"No, still no sight of them."  
"I will get us breakfast, if I don't, it'll draw attention."  
At the breakfast buffet I take two plates and fill them up. Before the Soul behind the counter can ask anything, I start chatting away.  
"Good morning! We arrived here so late last night that we slept in a bit. My partner is taking a shower so I offered to get us both some food that we can eat in our room."  
Having explained myself, I return to Ian with the food. He's trying to get me to eat, but I can't swallow it down. I keep on walking to the window to check if the jeep's here yet.   
"We can't stay that much longer, someone will notice."  
"I know. But if we leave by foot, it'll be strange too."  
I sigh as I turn my attention to the parking lot again. Ian wraps his arms around me.   
"They're okay, Wanda. They're just running late, nothing happened."  
"You don't know that."  
"I know Jared. He is careful. They're fine."  
I can tell that Ian is trying to convince himself as much as he is trying to convince me.   
They were supposed to be here three hours ago.  
"We can't wait any longer," I decide, "I'll return the key and we'll just walk to the hospital. Maybe they'll be here after I've gotten the medicine."  
  
A store is completely different from a hospital, we don't risk Ian going in with me. He isn't happy about it, but agrees to wait outside.   
I use the same name I used last night.  
"Good morning, my name is Rises to the Sun. Is it possible that I could see a Healer?"  
"What can we help you with today?" the Soul smiles at me.   
"I've been having terrible head aches. My partner and I are passing through and I thought it could wait until I got home, but I think it has something to do with the sun."  
"Just sit down for a minute, dear, a Healer will come for you soon."  
"Thank you."  
It takes less than the promised minute for a Healer to come for me.  
"Rises to the Sun? Hello, I'm Healer Rose. Will you walk with me?"  
She opens the door to an exam room, waiting for me to go in first.  
"What seems to be the problem?" she smiles.  
"I'm travelling with my partner and I'm experiencing quite the headaches. I didn't have them in the area where we came from, we didn't have as much sun there. The headaches started when we reached sunny places. I don't think this host responds well to the sunlight."  
"Well, I can give you some medicine for the pain. But I think staying out of the sun as much as possible is the smart thing for you to do Rises to the Sun. I take it from your name that you love the sun, but human bodies can't be in it for too long."  
I laugh sheepishly, "I do think you're right Healer Rose, I didn't consider that."  
"It can be hard, getting adjusted to these hosts, I know it took me some time."   
She hands me No Pain and I take it without question.  
"Now, how does that feel?"  
"Oh I feel better already!" I exclaim. It's not even a lie, the soreness of my muscles is a memory right now.   
  
I have to think of a way to get her to leave the room. I can't ask for water, there's a tap in this room. I walk towards the cabinets, feigning interest.   
"I've never been to a Healing Facility before, it's all so interesting."  
"Yes," she agrees, following my few steps.   
And then I see it. Sleep. I can't think of a good reason to get her to leave the room. I pick up the bottle and spray some of it in her face. She slumps down and I feel bad, I'm not strong enough to keep her from falling. I'll have to leave her on the floor.   
Instead of taking just a few, I decide to take as much as possible. I don't even care that I'm emptying out all of the compartments. Since I used Sleep on her, she'll already know something is wrong. After I've filled both bags, I walk out of the room. I try to walk slowly, resisting the urge to run outside.   
"Could Healer Rose help you?" The Soul who first greeted me asks.  
"Oh yes, I feel much better."  
My smile is so strained that she actually looks surprised, so I pause.   
"My partner is waiting for me, we have an appointment in a bit."  
"I'm glad we were able to help you quickly then," she beams.   
  
The jeep pulls up beside me, the passenger side has the window down.  
"Need a ride?"


	17. Just in time

"Can you get in? We're kind of in a hurry."  
I shake of my shock and quickly get in. I scan the backseat, Ian is sitting with Mel's head in his lap, she's lying down, seemingly asleep.   
"Wanda, did you get everything?" Ian leans in and I hand him one of the bags.   
As he takes the bag, I see blood on his hand. Alarmed, I turn around entirely.  
"What happened? Are you bleeding?"  
"Turn around, Wanda," Jared snaps, "People can see you."  
It has been a long time since he has used that harsh tone with me, I do as he says without objection.  
  
"What happened?"  
"Seekers." Jared answers me.  
"It's not my blood, it's Mel's." Ian says at the same time.  
No! My sister! I look at Jared for further explaining.   
"She'll be fine once Ian uses the medicine. It's a good thing you just got it."  
As he's busy treating Melanie, Ian demands to know more.  
"Tell us what happened Jared."  
"When we got to the place we were supposed to take Burns and Nick to, there were Seekers. They must have gotten the location from one of the humans who got caught. We didn't notice them in time."  
The look on his face shows me he's blaming himself for not being careful enough.   
"When we did, we tried to turn around and leave, but they were blocking the street. We couldn't get out of there with the car, so we had to get out and run."  
"Wait. You weren't in the jeep?"  
"No, we used another car. We have two of them - well, one now - at another safe location. We didn't want to use the jeep because it's too easy to recognize and follow. So, we got out of the car and made a run for it. The Seekers didn't seem surprised or shocked at all that there were two Souls with us. They seemed to be expecting it. But they didn't want to hurt them, which was our luck."  
Of course they wouldn't, I don't think they would  _want_ to harm Melanie or Jared either.   
"Burns and Nick positioned themselves in front of us and Mel and I ran. Most of the Seekers couldn't keep up with us. Well, we are used to running, they aren't." A tight smile forms on Jared's lips.   
  
"Only three of them managed to keep up. I told Burns to keep Mel out of the way and Nick and I tried to fight the three Seekers off. Unfortunately, two of them both came at me and Mel tried to get away from Burns to help me. Burns wouldn't have it and because he tried to keep her back, she stumbled. The Seeker got hold of her arm and yanked her towards him. Mel pulled herself loose. The Seeker lost balance, but so did Mel. They both fell down and Mel hurt her knee. Mel got up again, but the Seeker grabbed her ankle. Mel got thrown to the ground and fell on her head. She lost consciousness right away. Burns took her, Nick and I fought the Seekers off and we managed to escape."  
"Are you hurt Jared?" I ask him.   
"Where are Burns and Nick now?" Ian wants to know.   
Jared's face nudges down a bit, just slightly. I can't see his eyes because he's wearing sunglasses, but I follow his quick gaze. His lower leg is bleeding.  
"Ian, I need some Heal," I hold out my hand.   
"Not now, Wanda," Jared objects, "You can't just hang over me and treat my leg while I'm driving."  
"Then pull over," I demand.   
"We can't pull over here, it's too crowded."  
"Fine," I give in, "But as soon as it's safe, you stop the car. What happened next?"  
"As I said, Burns took Mel and we ran off. When we were certain that we weren't being followed anymore, we took the jeep and I drove Nick and Burns to another location. Nick gave me instructions on where to go, it was one of the places I didn't know either."  
They really had kept the chain very short, everyone only knows what they need to know. Difficult.  
"Did one of them get hurt?"  
"They're both fine, not even a scratch on either of them."  
"But, what happened to your leg?"  
"I ran into an iron fence," Jared admits, "Burns was holding Mel. And I was. . . Kind of. . . Arguing with him. I said that I wanted to carry Mel. I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have and fell over the fence. It had a very sharp edge and made a cut. Nick even joked about it, saying that it was fate telling us that Burns should be carrying Mel."  
Jared smiles at the memory and Ian lets out a chuckle, but I don't find it funny. Jared must have been really distraught, I've never before heard of him making a mistake or overlooking something in the outside world.  
  
"How's Melanie doing Ian?" I am worried sick about her.  
"I think I healed all of her wounds."  
"I  _do_ feel great," Melanie's voice sounds weak, but I'm so glad to hear her speak.  
"Mel. . . " It's just a whisper coming from Jared, even with the sunglasses on I can see the relief washing over his face.  
Mel tries to sit up, but Ian won't let her.  
"Easy there Mel, I know you feel great now, but that's the medicine. We don't know yet if you're entirely okay."  
"Hey sweetie, glad to have you back," Jared doesn't turn in the slightest, but has a broad smile on his face. The tension leaves his body and he relaxes. Now, for the first time since I got in the jeep, his face shows that he's in pain.  
"Pull over," I request.  
"I'm fine."  
"Pull over, Jared."  
  
Finding a spot on a parking lot that's partially hidden by trees, Jared parks the jeep. I get out of it and walk to the drivers seat, Jared slides over the middle. I start the car and Ian hands Jared the medicine.  
"Ah, that's better. Thank you Wanda."  
During our drive back home, the sky is getting darker. Not because it's getting late, it's the middle of the day, but because the rain is coming. The clouds are gathering up rapidly.   
I drive the jeep all the way up to the entrance of the caves. Ian is helping Melanie sit upright.   
"Take Melanie and the medicine to Doc." I mean for it to be an order, but it comes out as a suggestion.  
"Aren't you coming?"  
"I want to park the jeep in the outer caves. When the rain starts, we won't be able to drive it back to the hiding spot."  
Both Jared and Ian disagree with me.   
"You know I'm right, look at those clouds. Jared, you and Mel need to be checked out by Doc. Ian, you take them."  
"I'm going with you," Ian disagrees.  
"Jared's leg -"  
"Is fine. You have used Heal and No Pain yourself, you know he's fine. I'm not letting you go alone." I know Ian won't give in.  
"Come on," Melanie says, "Wanda is right, the jeep needs to be parked. And as much as I hate to admit it, we need to go see Doc and rest up."  
She steps out of the jeep and falters, Jared catches her, lifting her up.   
"I'm just a bit dizzy, I can walk, I'm fine."  
"You will walk when Doc clears you," Jared orders, "I'm worried you might have a concussion. Hurry up," he adds over his shoulder as he heads inside."  
  
"Do you need me to drive?" Ian asks.  
I don't, but I know he'll want to, so I slide over, allowing him to take the wheel.  
At the sight of the clouds closing in even more, Ian drives faster, going faster than I would have. We park the jeep and start the run back to the caves. It feels good to be running, Ian has to slow down for me, but he doesn't mind.   
Just as we reach the platform, the first drops fall. Ian wants to rush inside, but I try to hold him back.   
"Let's stay out here for a while."  
It's so warm outside, the rain is very welcome to my skin. I pull Ian's face to mine and kiss him deeply.  
"I'm so glad nothing worse happened today."  
"So am I. I was nervous about you going into that hospital, but Jared pulled up with Mel wounded like that. . ."  
It's still strange to him. Melanie is so much tougher than I was or ever will be. It's not just the body, it's the personality. And before I left that body, Ian never knew it other than someone who needed protecting, someone who wasn't tough. Someone who was afraid of violence. And who needed taking care after encountering it. Seeing Melanie hurt like that must have touched a memory.   
  
After a while Ian pulls away.   
"We need to go inside."  
"I'd prefer to stay here," I disagree.  
"We can't stay out here any longer, people will worry about us. Mel and Jared are already here, remember? Besides, it's raining. Meaning: our room is wet right now."  
And the cabinets, our clothes. . . Everything will be wet by now.   
Jodi and Kyle are waiting for us at the entrance, Kyle hands us both a towel. Ian thanks him for both of us.  
"It was very convenient that Mel and Jared came through, they warned us about the rain," Jodi tells us, "Everyone got their stuff to the game room in time, nothing's wet."  
"Except for ours then, I guess," Ian laughs.  
"Did you think we would let your stuff get wet?" Jodi seems offended, "Jamie went to Jared's and Mel's room and Kyle and I went to yours. Kyle carried it all out, he wouldn't let me take anything," Jodi lovingly pats her belly.  
  
We enter the game room, it's crowded. There's a feeling of excitement in the air because of the rains. But it won't last. After a few weeks, everyone's desire for privacy will be notably present. Jodi steers me toward a corner of the cave. Kyle and Jodi put our mattresses next to theirs. I look at Ian, uncertain how he will respond to this.  
"Thanks for moving our stuff in here," he smiles at Kyle.   
I feel hope for them. 


	18. Attempting to remove

Jeb likes his early mornings, when he wakes up, we all wake up. It's strange to wake up in a full room of people.   
Two weeks have passed since the newcomers came. All the new humans have adjusted. They have been welcomed by everyone. There's also the general worry about where to put them after the rains are gone, but everyone agrees that being crammed up together is better than turning people away. Humans are too rare and valuable.   
Sky, unfortunately, has not been adjusting. She took a sleeping spot at one of the outer ends of the cave. She had a discussion with Jeb, she didn't want to sleep in the game room at all, she said she wasn't comfortable sleeping here. Jeb being Jeb, honestly told her that she had to stay within sight at all times because people aren't sure yet if she can be trusted.   
Whenever she gets the opportunity to, she asks questions. Lots of questions. About where we are, how we got here, about the other humans, about the Souls who are on our side. Jared is very suspicious of her and I hate to admit, I am too.   
  
I'm in the kitchen kneading dough for bread when Jared and Jeb come and see me.  
Jeb looks around to check if no one's listening to us.   
"We want to take Sky out."  
"She's been asking questions, we can't trust her," Jared adds, "We need to send her off."  
Sadly, I agree that she can't be trusted.   
"We can't go out in the rains, we can't send her away to another planet right now."  
"I know. We'll have to keep her in a tank until we can go back out again."  
"She helped us. . ." I waver.   
"Wanda," Jared is stern and serious. I know he's right.   
"Are you going to tell her?"  
"I don't think that would be wise," Jeb says, "I'm almost certain that she won't agree. We plan on taking her at night, when she's already asleep. Not only will  _she_ not see it coming, but it also won't alarm anyone."  
I don't like this plan. Sneaking around is not for me.   
  
"Why are you telling me?"  
They already made the decision, I don't get why they're telling me. They're not asking for advice or anything.  
"Wanda, you're one of us. But you are also a Soul. We don't want to do this behind your back. We want you to know, before we do anything."  
I appreciate their honesty.  
"When do you want to do it?"  
"Tonight. We already asked Doc to be ready."  
"Okay, will you come and get me?"  
"Are you sure?" Jeb questions.  
"Yes, I'd like to be there."  
  
"Wanda wake up," Jared whispers. I open my eyes, his face is really close to mine. I'm glad it's dark, cause a blush starts to form immediately.   
I wiggle myself out from under Ian's arm. When I told him what we were going to do, he insisted I wake him up. But Jared shakes his head lightly, urging me along.   
He hurries over to the edge of the room and after a few muffled noises, picks Sky up and walks out with her. I follow closely behind him.   
Doc and Jeb are already in the hospital, everything's been set up. Jared hands Doc the Sleep and I look at the ceiling. It's covered with canvas. Doc sees me looking.   
"I put it up for Jodi. If she goes into labor, she will want and need some privacy. She can come here. Of course, it's convenient for us now too."  
Jared steps back from the cot he placed Sky on. He and Jeb both step back to give Doc room to work, I sit down across him.  
"Do you want to do it, Wanda?"  
No. I shake my head.   
Doc makes the cut and gently extracts the Soul.   
"I don't think I will ever get used to how beautiful the Souls are," Jared whispers behind me.   
I hold out the tank to Doc and he slides Sky in. After closing the wound, he turns the girl around, so that she's lying on her back.   
"Now all that's left to do is wait."  
Jeb and Jared both sit down on a bed as Doc puts the tank away.   
  
"Sky? Well, I don't think your name will be Sky anymore, but maybe you recognize the name anyway. We would like to welcome another human with us. Can you wake up? Are you feeling well?"  
I hold her hand as I start talking.  
I don't know how long I keep talking to her, without response. Jeb and Doc both went to sleep, but Jared is not letting tiredness get to him, sticking with me.  
"You are safe here," I insist, "You won't be harmed or taken again. Please wake up and let us know that you're okay."  
The room is becoming brighter and brighter. The rain is still falling, but I can tell that the morning is setting in. I've been up almost all night and the fatigue is getting the best of me now. I can feel that I'm slowly sinking into sleep, my voice has become a murmur. I'm being lifted, but even in this body, those hands and those arms feel too familiar, the scent of his body known. Jared takes my hand from the girl's hand and lays me down on the bed.  
"Thanks. . ." I drift off to sleep.  
  
A sigh wakes me up.  
"Do you have to do everything yourself, Wanderer?"  
I want to, but I'm too tired to acknowledge Ian's presence.   
"Explain, Howe." Ian demands. Naturally, Jared is still awake.   
I feel the bed moving as Ian's weight gets added to it. He carefully cradles my head on his lap. I make myself comfortable in his hands.  
  
"Come on, can you open your eyes? Can you talk to us? We are curious, we really would like to meet you." Ian is talking to the girl now.   
I open my eyes to the sight of him sitting next to her. I scan the room, Doc is sitting at his desk, watching Ian. Jeb and Jared are both gone.   
Ian and I spend the day in the hospital together, taking turns talking to the body. Mel, Jared and Jeb come to check in regularly, they also bring us food.  
When the evening comes, Ian wants to go to the kitchen to have dinner with everyone else, but I refuse to go with him. I want to stay with the girl. Ian looks almost mad at me.   
"You don't have to do this, Wanda. It's not your responsibility."  
I disagree. It's my race that did this to this girl. To all the humans. I need to be here to help her wake and return. I know better than to voice my thoughts out loud to Ian though.   
So I just look at him, it's like we're staring each other down. Ian grumbles, frustrated. He stalks out of the hospital. In under fifteen minutes, he returns with two plates of hot food.   
We share another look. He understands, like he always does.   
  
For three days we stay with the girl. She's not responding. We give her fluids, but the body is getting weaker by the hour, she is not coming back. I don't want to admit it, I feel defeated. How many humans are like this by now? Even if we can manage to remove more Souls, how many people are just gone? Is there hope? This is the third time in the caves that a human doesn't return. The odds don't seem to be on the human's side. I muffle away a sob, I don't want anyone to notice.   
It's getting dark outside and I speak up.  
"We need to put Sky back in."  
"We can't trust her," Jared is not willing to do this.  
"I know that Jared, but if we don't, the body will die. This girl, this human, will die."  
"Putting Sky back in is not an option," he doesn't budge.  
"You'd rather let this girl die?" my throat fills back up with a sob I don't want to let out.  
  
"We're putting Sky back in," Jeb decides. Jared immediately protests, but Jeb continues to talk as if he isn't being interrupted, "We'll just have to keep an extra eye on Sky. There isn't anything else we can do, I'm not willing to let this girl die. We will manage."  
"Jeb, have you thought about what will happen when Sky wakes up?" Jared argues, "She will know that we took her out and she'll be mad. We don't trust her, but she doesn't trust us either. If we put her back in and she wakes up, she'll be convinced she has even more reason not to trust us."  
"That's not how it works Jared," I disagree, "She was asleep when we took her. The body hasn't woken up. If we put Sky back in, the last memory she will have is that she fell asleep in the game room."  
"She'll notice that the body is weaker."  
"I'll tell her she's falling ill."  
"Are you sure that's how it works, Wanda?" Ian wants to know.  
"Yes," I nod. It's how it was for me when I left Melanie's body and woke up in this one. My last memories were the ones I had in Melanie's body.  
"Okay," Jeb says, "Put her back in Doc."


	19. Endings and beginnings

Even though everyone is already up and the game room is filled with noise, Sky is still fast asleep. I decide to wake her.  
"Sky, wake up. It's morning."  
Ian is lingering on the other side of the room, Jared is making his bed - he never does that.   
I gently shake her shoulder, "Wake up, Sky."  
She stirs and opens her eyes, slowly focusing.  
"Good morning, Wanda."  
She gets up, but doesn't sit up straight, instead she leans on her forearms, she looks exhausted.  
"I'm not feeling that well."  
"What's wrong?" I inquire.   
"I'm lightheaded. But really hungry," she looks confused.  
"Would you like me to take you to Doc?"  
"No!" she stops herself, "I'm sorry, I don't think I need a Healer."   
She must still be afraid of Doc. Not that I blame her.  
"Okay. Let me get you some breakfast."  
As soon as I enter the tunnel, Jared is beside me.   
"Does she suspect anything?"  
"Not a thing. She thinks she's sick, I offered to bring her breakfast."  
Jared nods and leaves me in the kitchen.  
  
"Hey Jodi, breakfast for two please."   
It's surprising to see her serving breakfast, since no one will let her help around anymore. I'm sure she loves it.   
"Two?" she looks past me, seeing Ian walk in, "Ah, you're getting for Ian too?"  
"No, I'm bringing Sky a plate. She's feeling light headed."  
Jodi doesn't ask, she knows what we did. Everyone knows. And even thought we know it's really hard to keep a secret from someone in here, Jeb still told everybody to not tell Sky anything. I take the plates from Jodi, just as she winces.  
"Are you okay?"  
"Yes. I'm fine. This baby can just. Kick. Hard."  
I thank her for the food and want to return to the game room. Ian stops me as I move past him.  
"Jared and I will nearby if needed."  
They're worried Sky will find out and that she'll get mad. I know that I can't convince either of them that it's not necessary to keep watch. Another Soul wouldn't hurt me.  
  
"Feeling better now?"  
"A bit," Sky agrees, "But I'm still hungry. I've never felt like this before."  
"I can get you some more food," I offer, but she declines.  
"The humans won't be happy if I eat too much of their food."  
Since I used to feel the same way when I first got here, I don't argue with her reasoning.  
"I'll go see what my chore is for the day."  
"Oh," I cut in, "I told them you aren't feeling well, so you have the day off."  
"But I have to help!"  
She almost looks in panic. Again, I understand. I always felt I had to work to earn to be here.  
"Sky," I take her arm, pulling her back down, "Everyone gets sick every now and then. You get a free day today. You were supposed to have a free day two days ago, but I know you didn't take it. You can have it now."  
I smile at her with - I hope - a reassuring expression on my face. Sky reluctantly agrees to lie back down.  
"I wonder how I could feel just fine last night and wake up feeling like this."  
"It's what human bodies do."   
I give her another pat on the arm and leave to return the plates to the kitchen.   
Jared is already waiting for me again in the tunnel.  
"Are you on Sky duty?" I ask him.  
"Actually, Jeb is. I thought the two of us could do some training. It's been a while."  
We used to train in the game room, but with everyone sleeping there now, I haven't gotten the chance to train. I don't want to do with people around.   
"We can go to one of the field caves. We can't sow in for a while, so the field caves aren't being used right now."  
  
I'm panting and sweating. But no one would notice the sweat anyway. It's wet in here. The rain doesn't pour down like it does outside, but there's still enough of it falling down that I was soaked within minutes.   
First, Jared and I run a few rounds through the cave. This field area is smaller than the game room, but I still start to gasp for breath after just one round. Jared has to slow down a great deal, but his encouragement gets me to run two more rounds.   
Then he makes me stand opposite of him.   
"Kick me," he orders.  
"Come again?"  
"Kick me," he repeats. "Really, Wanda, just do it."  
"i don't need how to fight," I refuse, "I wouldn't even do it if I had to."   
"It's not about fighting or learning how to fight. It's about getting your strength up. We don't really have a lot of options when it comes to strengthening your leg muscles. If you just kick me, I'll block it. Put as much power in it as you can, it will make your leg stronger."   
He seems a bit too sure that I won't be able to hurt him. Of course I can't - I know that - but being told that I can't cause any damage at all. . . It's not like it's a compliment.   
Even though I'm still apprehensive about it, I decide that I have to either do it with full conviction, or not at all.  
So I kick. I put every ounce of strength and speed that I can muster up into it. I try to kick.  
  
And miserably fail. Jared block my leg and sees that I'm about to fall. He tries to steady me by holding my leg, but that's not helping. I fall down, face first.   
Pain soars through my cheek.   
Before I can get up, Jared's already crouched down next to me.   
"You're bleeding."   
I can feel the blood seeping through my shirt.  
"Let's get you to Doc."  
No. Let's not get me to Doc.  
"Is it bad?" I ask Jared.  
"It's not that big of a wound, not deep. But you've got some gravel in it." He touches my cheek.  
"Come on," he stands up and stretches out his hand to me, "I'm taking you to Doc."  
"What will happen if we do that now?"  
Jared looks confused. "What?"  
"If we go to Doc now, Ian will see me. Or someone else will and they will run to get him. He'll be convinced that he was right after all and that I shouldn't be doing this. And then he'll be even more reluctant to let me train."  
"Does it matter? If we wait, he'll still see it, only later. He'll still feel the same way."  
I can not fight his logic, but I want to try. He won't let me speak.   
"I'm not waiting. I want that healed right now. I don't want to see you hurt like that."  
"It doesn't hurt that bad."  
It's become a throbbing sensation now. I can feel exactly where the wound is. And Jared knows it. I'm not fooling him.   
"You either walk with me or I pick you up and carry you? Which will seem worse?"  
Overprotective. All of them. I'm feeling warmth and frustration at the same time. At moments like this, I'm _really_ not happy that they chose this weak, sweet, petite and soft body for me. At this rate, I'll never get the chance to get my strength up.  
  
Of course when we walk through the tunnels, people see my face. I hear some gasps, but no one asks. That might have something to do with the angry, annoyed look on my face, it's not familiar to them. We don't run into Ian but I have no doubt he will hear soon.   
Doc uses the Heal on me, the wound doesn't leave even the tiniest mark. But Jared refuses to continue the training.   
So I decide to take a bath to freshen up and get into clean clothes. I run into Melanie near our rooms and she ends up joining me.   
"Jared won't train you anymore," she states.  
"I know."  
"He feels bad."  
"I know," I grunt, "It isn't his fault."  
"Try telling him that."  
Another grunt leaves my lips.   
"You're mad," Melanie deduces.   
"Frustrated, really." I admit.   
  
"Wanda? Are you in there?"   
It only took Ian 10 minutes to come and find me. Almost 8 minutes later than I would expect.  
"Yes, I'm here," I answer him.   
We hear footsteps entering the cave.  
"I wouldn't mind if you stayed out there Ian," Melanie calls out.  
"Oh, sorry Mel," Ian's footsteps slow down, but he's not leaving. "Wanda? You're done training."  
I can practically  _feel_ Melanie rolling her eyes next to me. "Guys," she mutters.  
"Wanda?"  
He's expecting an answer?  
"Go away Ian! Leave us to bathe."  
Sometimes I'm actually glad that Melanie is more blunt than I am.   
"Fine. We'll talk later."  
Melanie bursts out in quiet laughter as we hear Ian walking away.  
"Yes, dad," she chokes out.  
Despite my lingering anger, I can't help but join in with her.   
  
As we're drying up, we hear footsteps approaching again, fast.   
"Wanda!"  
Melanie mutters; "Seriously Ian?" Then she shouts: "We're almost done, wait there!"  
"Hurry Wanda," Ian urges, "Jodi has gone to Doc's, she's having contractions and she's asking for you."  
I quickly finish getting dressed, quickly tying my wet hair together and run out, leaving for the hospital.


	20. In labor

There are a lot of people in the hospital. Kyle is hovering over Jodi, Candy and Doc next to them. Jared, Jamie and Jeb are standing in a corner, Melanie joins them. And there are a lot of more people in here.   
"Ian, we have to get everyone out."  
"What?"   
There's a panicky feeling in the room, Ian has it too.  
"Get them out," I repeat, "Jodi doesn't need everyone here."  
"Oh," it dawns on him, "Yes. Sure. Everybody! Out!"  
A few people move, but most of them keep lingering.   
"OUT!" Kyle bellows.   
It seems to work, people start heading out.  
"Let's give Jodi her privacy," Ian says, "She doesn't need an audience for this."  
  
"So, how are you feeling Jodi?" I ask her.  
"Fine. I'm just having some small contractions. Not regular at all, yet, but Kyle," she rolls her eyes, "As soon as he realized I was having contractions, he wanted to get me in here. He wouldn't let me walk, so naturally everyone saw us. People started following us out. I just wish it had started at night, so no one would know."  
It's just Kyle, Doc, Candy, Ian and me with Jodi in the hospital now.   
"You will be fine, I know you can do it." I tell her, "Good luck."   
I nudge Ian to come with me, but Jodi stops me.  
"I didn't send Ian to come and get you just for you to wish me luck. Wanda, you're my best friend here, I want you to stay. I need another woman in here. No offence, Candy."  
"None taken," Candy assures her.  
Ian and Kyle both stand frozen. They must be wondering why Jodi wants me here. Is Kyle mad that Jodi wants me here?  
  
"We'll be right back, Jodes," Ian promises as he leads me into the tunnel.  
"Do you want to stay?" he asks me.  
"Why wouldn't I want to stay?"  
"Won't it be too hard for you?"  
Always thinking about me first, concerned about my feelings.   
"I'm just worried that Kyle won't like me being there," I confess.  
"He'll be fine. He may have been a bit shocked, but he knows Jodi and you are close," Ian assures me, "But you . . . Are you sure?"  
His look of love shows only worry for me.   
"I'll be fine."  
Ian kisses the tip of my nose, "I'll be nearby if you need me."  
  
Jodi moans as I head back towards her bed.  
"It's like it's hurting, but it's discomforting. It's taking my breath away."  
"You should try to breathe through the contractions Jodi. If you manage to breath through the easy ones, right now, you'll be able to breath through the hard ones, when they come later." Candy instructs her.  
"When is later?" Kyle asks.  
"It could be days," Doc replies, "When it's a first baby, the average amount from first contraction until delivery is about 48 hours. But it could go faster, or take longer, we just don't know."  
Kyle has visibly gone pale.  
"Then what am I doing here already?" Jodi exclaims, "If it can takes before this baby comes, I can do what I want right?"  
"Definitely," Doc agrees, "We just thought you'd be more comfortable, here, in the privacy of the hospital.  
"Besides," Candy adds, "The sooner you give into it and relax, the faster it'll go. So just close your eyes, breathe and focus on meeting your baby."  
  
"Ooooooohhhh! That. Hurts!"  
"Breathe through it Jodi, you can do it, you're doing so well," I encourage her as she squeezes my hand.   
"I don't feel like it's going well at all!"  
Jodi's been having contractions for about 18 hours now. Kyle and I took turns sleeping as Jodi had contractions all night. She dozed off herself too, but didn't get a lot of sleep. She insisted we'd leave, to get some undisturbed sleep, but neither of us liked the idea of leaving her. So we took turns, held her hand and encouraged her. When Kyle and I slept, we took one of the extra cots here, but Candy and Doc took turns sleeping in the game room. Doc explained that they wanted to be well rested, so that when the actual birth is here, they can both assist.  
"Can't we just give her No Pain? Why don't you give her No Pain Doc?" Kyle paces the room.  
"You know why, Kyle," Doc patiently tells him, "We can't use No Pain because we can't monitor the baby and the contractions. The way Jodi is feeling is the only indication we have."  
We had a conversation about it, a few months ago. The machines for monitoring during labor were just too big to get our hands on. Stealing machines like that sadly wasn't an option.   
Jodi's grabbing my hand again. Squeezing. Hard. I flinch, but make sure she doesn't notice. She is in more pain. The contractions are rolling in every seven to eight minutes now. Candy already declared it definitely won't take 48 hours.  
"Stop complaining Kyle," Jodi calls out to him, "This is hard enough already without your whining, leave Doc alone."  
My eyes widen at her words. And even more at the fact that Kyle does what she says without even so much as a comment.   
  
The contractions have even less of a pause between them, coming every four to five minutes now.   
As Kyle asks Doc for No Pain for the fourth time, Jodi lashes out at him.  
"Get out, Kyle! Stop complaining! Help me through this or get out! You're the one who did this to me anyway, just leave!"   
The look on Kyle's face is so shocked that I almost laugh out loud, Candy hides a smile too, but she can't help letting out a chuckle. Kyle walks towards the doorway, but stops as Jodi starts shouting at him again.  
"What. Are. You. Doing?! Get back here, don't you dare leave me right now!"   
Kyle sits down opposite of me and he takes Jodi's hand, he looks like he doesn't dare say a word anymore.  
Ian walks into the room. We placed Jodi with her back to the entrance, so she doesn't see him. I look at Ian questioningly, but he just shakes his head at me and nudges Doc to join him outside. Ian looks tense, what's that about? I can't give it a lot of thought. Apparently Kyle's all out of words and Jodi needs someone to encourage her.  
Doc walks in and starts collecting most of his medicine. Is someone hurt? Doc looks nervous, he is deliberately not looking at us. I look back to the doorway, but there's no sight of Ian. What is this about? I consider leaving the hospital to find out, but Jodi squeezes my hand as another contraction hits her. My attention shifts to her.  
"You're doing so well, Jodi. It won't be long before you'll get to hold your baby," Candy tells Jodi.  
Kyle's sweating and looking pale, not saying a word. The nervousness is radiating off of his body. It's so strange to see him like this. But also heartwarming, it's his love for Jodi, he hates seeing her like this.   
Doc returns to the hospital, he looks as if he's looking for something. I raise my eyebrows to him and I see that he understands I want to know what's going on, but he refuses to speak.   
Jodi is focused on her contractions and Kyle is focused on her, but Candy notices Doc too. She shrugs her shoulders at me; she has no idea what this can be about either.   
Jodi has progressed a lot, her contractions are just two minutes apart, the baby will come soon.   
  
Ian and Jared both come into the hospital.   
"A word, Kyle?" Jared asks.  
"It can wait," Kyle responds, not looking away from Jodi.  
"No, bro, it can't." That gets a response from Kyle, Ian hasn't called him 'bro' in a very long time, "I'll be right back, sweetheart."  
The three men stand just outside the room. They start speaking in a hushed tone, but then Kyle practically shouts.  
"We can't move her right now, you idiots, she's in labor!"  
Kyle stalks back into the room, Ian and Jared following closely behind him.  
"We have to leave, Kyle, right now. The caves aren't safe anymore."  
"You're not taking Jodi," Kyle fumes.  
"We are taking all of you. Knocking you out and carrying you outside will take way more time and will be a lot harder, but I will do it if you leave me no choice. But we have to leave  _now._ "  
What? Leave now? The caves aren't safe anymore? What happened? Ian shifts his attention from Kyle to me.   
"Wanda, we need to go. Now."  
"But what about Jodi?" I haven't processed yet.  
"We're taking Jodi with - " Ian starts, but Jared cuts through him.   
"We wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't necessary. There is no time to explain. It's no longer safe here. We need to leave now."  
My head clears up and I spring into action, turning to Jodi.  
"Jodi, sweetie, I'm so sorry, but we're going to move you. It's really necessary, you'll be okay. Candy, Doc, Kyle and I are staying right by your side."  
I nod at Ian and Jared and him lean in to pick up Jodi.  
"Don't touch her. I'll carry her."  
My agreement to leave seems to have gotten Kyle to accept it too.   
  
We leave the hospital. To get to the exit we have to cross most of the caves. They're empty. There's no one here.  
All the bedding in the game room is still in place. When we walk past the kitchen, I see plates on the tables, some half empty, some even still full. It's all just left behind. Chairs have fallen over.  
I hear Jodi moan as she has another contraction. Kyle tries to slow down, but Jared is walking behind him, pushing him forward.   
Ian's holding my hand, taking me through the speed as fast as my legs can follow. I'm out of breath, are we almost there yet? And then we reach the exit. I see several tracks, cars that have left already. There's a truck waiting for us.  
Melanie and Jamie look relieved at the sight of us coming towards them. Jared, Melanie and Jamie get in the front of the truck and the rest of us pile into the back.   
Someone has gotten a mattress in here. As soon as Kyle lays Jodi onto the mattress, the truck starts driving. Fast. 


	21. Escape

Ian's steadying me by my waist so I don't fall over, but I wiggle myself free from his grip and slide over to Jodi.   
Kyle and Candy are setting up lamps while Kyle examines her.  
"I need to throw up."  
Ian hands me a bucket and I hold Jodi's head as she fills it up.   
"At least being on the move didn't slow down your contractions," Doc states.  
"I can't have this baby in a truck," Jodi moans.   
"You're going to have the baby soon Jodi," Doc promises her, "Your contractions aren't far apart and you are fully dilated. When you feel the urge to push, I want you to give into it."  
I'm sitting next to Jodi, holding her hand. Kyle is on her other side, wiping the sweat from her forehead. Candy has taken position next to Doc, to assist him and Ian is trying his best to give us room in the limited space we have.   
"Honey, you are doing great. I won't be long before we get to hold our baby," Kyle means it as encouragement, but Jodi snaps at him.   
"Don't tell me that! You don't know that! You're not the one who has to push this baby out. I can't do it! I can't! It won't come!" She sits up, trying to move.   
Kyle and I share a look, both at a loss for words.  
"Yes you can Jodi," Candy tells her, "You will have to and you  _can_. This is the turning point. When you get to the point where you think you really can't take it anymore, that's the point that the baby's coming. This baby  _will_ come."  
"That's easy for you to say, you're not the one doing it."  
Jodi gasps as another contraction takes over.  
  
"I did it. I had children, before I was taken by the Souls. I've helped with deliveries in the hospital, when the Soul was inside me, so I have the medical knowledge. But I also did it myself, three times, so I speak from experience too."  
I'm a bit surprise hearing this. Not because I don't believe Candy to be a mother, but she rarely gives us any information about her life before the Souls came to earth.   
It gets Jodi to calm down. I feel like she needed to hear this from someone who speaks from experience. Jodi takes a deep breath and lies back down.  
"That's it Jodi," Candy encourages her, "Try to relax. The contractions will come. I know it's stressful, but try to breathe through the contractions like you did so well inside."  
When Jodi has another contraction, she takes Kyle's and my hand again, to squeeze. I glance over at Kyle, we're back to the same pattern we had inside.   
The truck takes a sharp turn and I think I'll topple over, but Ian's hands steady me. I mouth a thank you to him, not wanting to disturb the relative peace for Jodi.   
  
"I need to push!"  
"Go along with it, follow your body," Candy instructs her.   
And so Jodi pushes. I just know my hand will turn blue from her squeezing, but I don't complain. Of course I don't, this is about Jodi. Doc has gladly moved aside for Candy.   
After fifteen minutes of pushing, with one big final push and an ear piercing scream, Jodi pushes the baby out.   
Doc holds out a blanket and Candy wraps it to keep it warm. Jodi holds out her arms and Candy hands her the baby.   
Kyle is looking emotional, he places a hand on top of the baby and kisses Jodi on her forehead. Jodi has let go of my hand, so I slide back to Ian. I feel exhausted. I didn't get any sleep all night, my hand hurts and I had to run through the caves. Still, I'm sure it's nothing compared to how Jodi must be feeling.  
For the first time, I allow myself to think about the questions I have. Why are we in a truck? Why did we leave the caves like we did? I don't understand, but I'm not asking anything yet. Jodi and Kyle deserve the little privacy and peace they can get right now.  
Candy asks Kyle to cut the umbilical cord and then everyone falls quiet.   
  
When the truck takes another sharp turn, it's like we all come alive again.  We all have a lot of questions I think. When Kyle starts to speak, I realize his priorities differ from mine.   
"What is it? A boy or a girl?"  
"I don't know Kyle," Jodi smiles, "You look."  
Kyle obeys, lifting up the blanket, a huge smile forms on his face.  
"It's a girl, Jodes."  
After another moment of silence, Doc asks: "Have you already picked out a name?"  
Kyle shakes his head, but Jodi nods, smiling.   
"Her name will be Helen."  
Ian stiffens behind me and Kyle sucks in his breath. The brothers lock eyes and Ian nods.  
"That's a lovely name, Jodi," Candy comments.  
Ian lowers his mouth to my ear, "It was my mother's name."  
  
I really want to understand what's going on. But I still don't want to distract Jodi and Kyle from the beautiful wonder they're holding. They deserve to be happy before reality kicks back in for them. I lie down and Ian holds me, makes sure I'm comfortable.   
"I slept all night, but I know you didn't sleep at all. Get some rest, Wanda." The movements of the truck help me doze off quickly.   
  
And wake me just as quickly as soon as it stops.   
Jared opens the doors and asks us all to step outside. We're in what seems to be the middle of a forest. Another truck is parked opposite ours, all doors open, key in the ignition.   
"I know you were needed in the back, but could you come sit in the front for the rest of the drive?"  
This is sensible. I'm the only Soul present.  
"Of course," I agree, "Do you need me to drive?"  
"No, you being there is enough. Mel and Jamie will go in the back."  
I know it will pain Jared not to have Melanie sitting next to him, but  _he_ knows that Ian won't like it if I sit in the front without him. And he feels responsible for our safety, won't sit in the back himself. Jared turns to the others.  
"If you need anything from this truck, take it with you to the other one. We still have a long trip ahead. Mel and Jamie will explain everything to you in the back."  
Jodi holds Kyle as he lifts her up, gently transferring them to the other truck. Melanie and Jamie help Doc and Candy collect all medicine. As soon as they're all inside, Jared closes the back doors.  
"Let's go."  
  
I expect the two men to explain things to me, but neither of them speaks. After just a few moments of silence, I already can't take it any longer. We have been driving for what feels like hours already. I need to know what happened.   
"Why did we have to leave so sudden?"  
"Sky got out," Ian groans.  
I gasp. "What?"   
"She's been asking questions," He continues, "And apparently people slipped up, giving her tiny details. The details on their own might not have been important, but it seems Sky added it all up and found out some things."  
"How do you know people gave her the information?"  
"She knew exactly where to go and what to do."  
I'm impatient, wanting to know more.   
"So, she left the caves?" I press.  
"She left somewhere in the night," Jared answers, "I don't know what time exactly, but when we woke up, she was already gone. Because of the mud, there was a clear trail, it led right to the cars - I can't believe someone told her that! One of the cars was gone and the others were all sabotaged, we couldn't use them. Mel and I had decided on a second hiding spot a few weeks ago, we still had two cars and two trucks there. At the time Mel insisted that I was being paranoid, overly cautious."  
The faintest trace of a smile forms on Jared's lips.  
"Jeb told everyone that they could only take the stuff that they really could't leave behind. Mel and I ran ahead to get the trucks."  
"Everyone went to get their stuff and headed to the exit," Ian takes over the story, "I went to Doc to warn him and after Doc collected the medicine, we took that to the exit as well. When Mel and Jared returned with the trucks, Jared instructed Jeb where to go."   
All of those people in the back of one truck. They must be so uncomfortable and scared.   
"But what about the trails?" I ask, afraid we could be followed.  
"We went the opposite direction of where Sky's trail went. It's not exactly the direction we needed to go in, but we didn't want to risk running into the Seekers. As you can tell, this is another truck than the one we used for our raids."  
"So where are we going now?"  
  
"A safe place. Burns and Nick have been preparing it for our arrival. It was always the plan to go there,  we had scheduled to go there as soon as the rains ended. That would give Burns and Nick enough time to set everything up."  
"Is it just the two of them?"  
"I'm sorry Wanda, but just to be sure, I'm not going to tell you anything more until we get there." I can tell Jared is not lying, he wishes he could tell me. "It's still possible that we get caught."  
Ian looks angry, but I understand and agree.  
"How does Jeb know where to go?"  
"I gave him some basic directions. He's going to wait for us at a safe point and from there he will follow me."  
Satisfied for now, I don't ask any more questions.  
"I can't believe Sky did that," I mutter.  
"She never did choose our side, Wanda."  
"I know Ian, it's just hard to realize that she betrayed us." I look at my hands, almost feeling personally responsible for Sky's decision.   
I'm so sad that she did it. Sad that she didn't understand the point of view from the humans. Sad that she didn't understand what I was doing with the humans. I wish she would have understood.   
Even though I'm looking at them, I don't register that my hands are trembling until Ian places on of his on top of mine. His other hand nudges my chin, making me look at him.  
He doesn't ask and I don't need to explain. My eyes are filled with tears, his are filled with understanding.


	22. New place

"How long until we're there?"   
I'm not asking for myself, I'm feeling for the people in the back of the truck. It must be so uncomfortable, especially for Jodi.   
"I know of one more location," Jared answers, "Nick and Burns should be watching it, they should be there waiting for us. They will drive from there."   
"So you don't know any end locations?" Ian asks.   
"No, for this, we decided it was safest if only Souls know the location."   
"That's a lot of trust," Ian states.   
"I know," Jared looks pained, "But we are certain about them. We know we can trust them just as much as we can trust Wanda."   
I'm really glad he feels that way. Especially for Jared, it was hard to trust me. A lot of it had to do with me being in his girlfriend's body. But it wasn't just that. He was one of the people who had a harder time trusting a Soul.   
  
Jared turns out to be right, Nick and Burns are waiting for us at our next stop.   
We open the truck so everyone can get fresh air, but explain that they can't get out yet. We have one last drive to make.   
"Please, everyone, get back in," Nick asks, "I promise we will get you to our next location as soon as possible."  
"Do you want to sit in the front with us?" Burns asks, "We'd appreciate the company."  
But I want to sit with Ian. I want him to hold onto me and not let go. Seeing Nick and Burns gives me a sense of safety. I feel my knees shaking. Ian notices and holds onto me a bit tighter. With the relief that I feel  _now,_ the full weight of the fear I've felt the last couple of ours comes bursting out. The exhaustion is getting the better of me. Ian tries to look me in the eyes, but my eyes can't focus on anything.   
"Are you okay, Wanda?" I don't register Burns question enough to answer it.  
"She'll be fine." Ian states for me.  
He guides me to the back of the truck and I take Jamie's hand as he helps me in.   
Once Nick is sure everyone is seated, he closes the doors, locking us in.   
Someone put up a light, it's not entirely dark here, but Ian wraps me in his arms and faces me towards the wall. It's relatively almost nothing, but it's the only privacy he can offer me.   
Almost everyone around me is focused on Jodi and the baby. I have no doubt that they're scared, but they're happily chatting. Not engaging, I silently let tears fall down my cheeks.   
A hand touches my face, Ian feels the wetness. His other hand moves to my hair and his mouth comes close to my ear.  
"It's okay, honey."  
I feel so safe in Ian's arms. I can't imagine life without him anymore.  
  
I don't remember falling asleep, but I abruptly wake as the truck halts to a stop. Ian's already steadying me, helping me up, as the door opens.   
"Everybody, follow us please," Burns asks.  
We're inside, in a garage. People start asking questions, but Burns cuts them off.  
"Let's talk inside."  
He opens a door to a staircase leading down. I hear some complaints, but everyone follows him. We enter a hallway, it easily fits all of us.   
Behind me, I hear Melanie muttering under her breath.  
"Jeb isn't the only one who was paranoid."  
Before I can ask what that comment means, Burns goes through another door, inviting us into a large sitting room. Even Jared sighs with relief as we see the rest of the people from the caves. Jamie runs over to Jeb to hug him and Sharon kisses Doc.   
I look around the room, still wondering where we are. The room is a square, every wall has multiple doors. There are couches and chairs, pillows on the floor. Even if everyone sits down, there will still be empty seats.   
Burns invites everyone to sit down, but after almost an entire day inside a truck, most people opt for standing. I don't want to sit down myself either, even though I'm still shaking off the sleep.   
"I know everyone must be tired, so I'll keep it short for now," Nick addresses everyone. He gestures to the right, "If you go through that door, it will lead you to a hall. All of the rooms that hallway leads to are bedrooms. Please choose a room to stay in. Most rooms can accommodate 2 people, but some are suitable for 3 or just for 1 person. I suggest that, at least for the first night, you all just pick whatever room you want."  
He keeps on talking, not willing to let people interrupt him.  
"The door on our left will take you to the kitchen. Everyone can come there in the morning, there will be breakfast for everyone."  
Burns takes over: "Now, about where we are. We are in a bunker. We don't know why it was built. We do know that the Souls don't know that this is here. We have been searching for a safe place for months and eventually we found this." Burns glances over to Jared, who nods at him, "Nick and I have been preparing this bunker for your arrival for weeks now. It was always the plan for all of you to come here. Does anyone have any questions right now?"  
  
People start talking at once.   
"But where is this bunker?"  
"What's in the other rooms?"  
"How big is it?"  
"How can the Souls not know it's here?"  
"Are we sure we can trust these Souls?"  
  
I can't help it, it still stings, still feels like an accusation. I wish everyone would just trust us.   
Jeb stands up, holding out his arms.   
"Okay, people. People!" he shouts, "I can't go and say everyone has to listen to my rules, because this is not my house. But I am kindly suggesting that we let all questions wait until tomorrow. We have all been crammed up in the back of a truck today, so we're all just plain sick of each other."  
He manages to get a few laughs with that comment.  
"And some of us sat in the front, saving our lives. They must be tired too."  
Silence falls over the room as he stops talking. Jared and Ian are the first two to move. It's almost funny how much they are alike with their loves; Jared pulls Melanie up with him as he stands up and Ian nudges me with him as he steps towards the door. Melanie and I share a smile, both noticing the similarities between our men.   
Neither Jared or Ian says anything, they just walk out of the room. As we leave the room, I can hear that more people are following this example.   
  
Jared stops at the first room, sees it's for three and wants to move on.  
"Can I sleep with the both of you? Just for tonight."  
Jamie has grown, but it's clear on his face that he's insecure, nervous and overwhelmed.  
"Of course you can," Melanie agrees.   
After I give Jamie a hug, Ian leads me into the next room, this one is meant for two.   
  
"What do you think of all of this?"  
He's still not sitting down, wanting to stretch his limbs a bit longer.   
"I trust them, Ian. Not because they're Souls. But also because they've been proving themselves to the humans, like I did. I trust them, I believe we're safe here."  
Ian smiles.  
"I know, Wanda. But that's not what I meant, I trust them too. What do you think about the bunker?"  
"It's . . . Overwhelming. How can this be here? Why would humans build a bunker like this?"  
"Some people wanted to be prepared for everything. War, nuclear disasters. They wanted to make sure they could survive."  
  
We both lie down on the bed. Ian's breathing steadies and I think he has fallen asleep. But then he sighs. I look up and catch him staring at the ceiling.  
"I'm sorry, am I keeping you awake?"  
Yes. If he doesn't sleep, I won't fall asleep either. But I don't say that.  
"Can't you sleep?" I ask instead.  
"I haven't slept in the truck today," no, he was watching me. "But I don't feel tired at all. I still feel filled up with adrenaline. We could all have been caught today. We could have lost our lives. We - I - could have lost you today."  
His arms tighten around my waist.   
"Well, I did sleep in the truck and I'm not tired either." I sit up. "Let's go explore."  
We head into the sitting room, Nick and Burns are still there, Jared and Jeb are with them. Melanie isn't there, I assume she's asleep.   
Ian says just one word, asking: "Shower?"  
Burns points straight ahead and we go through the door that he said would lead to the kitchen. Like the hallway with the bedrooms, this is also a hallway with a lot of doors. But they're labeled and we easily find the showers.   
After showering, a lot of my energy has gone and now I can say that I feel tired. We dry off and head back to our rooms.   
When we cross the sitting room again, Jared mutters: "Took you long enough."   
Of course I blush, causing him and Jeb to laugh. Nick and Burns just seem uncomfortable by it.   
Back in our room, we now both easily fall asleep.   
  
As I wake, I feel safe as always. I'm in Ian's arms.   
But then I notice that it's dark. Really dark. It usually isn't dark when I wake up. I open my eyes and sit up, disoriented.   
And then I remember, for a few seconds I had forgotten.   
We're not in the caves. We had to evacuate and we're in a bunker. Ian stirs and pulls me back down to him, starts kissing my neck.   
"It can wait," he breathes as his mouth travels to my ear.  
"Aren't you curious?" I manage, as his mouth goes back to my neck again.  
"Yes." he agrees, "But not  _that_ curious." I sigh a little.   
"But. . . We. . ."   
He's kissing my collarbone now, I can feel his warm lips smile against it.  
"Yes?" he inquires, teasing me. Kissing me again, making me shiver.   
I try again: "We. . . Should. . ."  
His mouth trails over to my shoulder, and I give up. I give in. I pull his face closer to mine so I can kiss him back.   
We hear a door open. And with it, the smell of fried eggs comes in. And my stomach growls. Had it been Ian's stomach, he would've ignored it.   
But my needs he never ignores. We both laugh and reluctantly get dressed, we haven't eaten much yesterday.


End file.
